We Dream of Meanful Relationships
Our world flipped and we lost all of our footing in the last 6 years due to almost unexplainable and repeated devastation ! By not wanting to potentially repeatedly explain our actual desperation for support and understanding, (or to even wonder why we would need to ask- because that’s just not how we have never responded to others who are struggling…). My husband and I have since avoided any possibility of having to explain the loss and trauma that has seemed to never give us a moment to recover. We didn’t even know how anyone brings these things up without alienating others. We lost friends who pulled away because they “felt uncomfortable not knowing what to do or say”. I have always struggled developing deep meaningfully relationships with others due to my lack of self confidence. My husband suffers from the same affliction. But we have become so uncharacteristically resentful now; as our families or those we thought were friends have completely left us in isolation to try to remain strong and honest with our 2 teenage sons. So my answer to what causes us to grieve and remain stagnant in our healing- “the thing that the darkness screams to me every day and night…” Is the reality that we lost our faith in most people and we definitely struggle to trust anyone… (but most of all)- we fear this is where we will be left to feel so devastated forever- and we just don’t understand a world who isn’t affected by our suffering.