When love has been abusive
It’s funny I didn’t think this one would affect me as much as I did. Why I thought that I have no idea. As I entered this relationship my spouse had died about three or four years before and I have been alone that time and done a lot of personal work I was truly in the best place I’ve ever been in my entire life. It was not looking to end up in a relationship I was actually moving out of state. And I met this person and within a few months was in love and chose to stay. I’ve never been in love in my entire life. I’d love people but never that feeling of being in love is entirely new to me. It was wonderful and scary and odd and and so very new. Long story short I lost myself I lost weight was. I lost everything I lost probably one of the most difficult things if I’m being told I wasn’t really in love. And I can’t imagine what it was then that I felt. I could live my life alone I love being alone I feel comfortable. But I so desperately want to know what that feels like. Actually be in love with someone. I thought I had it now I’m not sure. Define that one person who you can share everything with. I’m sure I can’t even put into words. And I’m not going to have written so much already. But I have to say this one had a profound effect on me. To help me move forward and to know that it is OK that I think about falling in love someday. Part of me was feeling like it was selfish. I don’t know why. I tend not to ask for much. ￼ that I deserve to have someone in my life who fights for me, loves me more than any other, but I’m the number one, so we can argue and disagree and come back together knowing that no matter what… So much more thank you so much I’m grateful for my life today I truly am it’s been a difficult few years. I have so much in my life to be thankful for.