When love has been abusive
Itโs funny I didnโt think this one would affect me as much as I did. Why I thought that I have no idea. As I entered this relationship my spouse had died about three or four years before and I have been alone that time and done a lot of personal work I was truly in the best place Iโve ever been in my entire life. It was not looking to end up in a relationship I was actually moving out of state. And I met this person and within a few months was in love and chose to stay. Iโve never been in love in my entire life. Iโd love people but never that feeling of being in love is entirely new to me. It was wonderful and scary and odd and and so very new. Long story short I lost myself I lost weight was. I lost everything I lost probably one of the most difficult things if Iโm being told I wasnโt really in love. And I canโt imagine what it was then that I felt. I could live my life alone I love being alone I feel comfortable. But I so desperately want to know what that feels like. Actually be in love with someone. I thought I had it now Iโm not sure. Define that one person who you can share everything with. Iโm sure I canโt even put into words. And Iโm not going to have written so much already. But I have to say this one had a profound effect on me. To help me move forward and to know that it is OK that I think about falling in love someday. Part of me was feeling like it was selfish. I donโt know why. I tend not to ask for much. ๏ฟผ that I deserve to have someone in my life who fights for me, loves me more than any other, but Iโm the number one, so we can argue and disagree and come back together knowing that no matter whatโฆ So much more thank you so much Iโm grateful for my life today I truly am itโs been a difficult few years. I have so much in my life to be thankful for.
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