I feel better than last time, most of my feelings are learning about my emotions
My emotions are controlled have been controlled by either physical violence with the type of men, I was attracted to narcissistic. I am more empathic due too the abuse in my life. want others to see what I see on in them as I feel as my trauma has gotten so bad at 41, my family allowed this go on, in physical and emotional abuse as the shelter counselor talked to my parents and said they are toxic, and I need to not listen. I finished a custody trial for my daughter in July of 21 and in 2020 lost twins to mmy abusive bf. and was a victim of a crime and somehow the state police covered it up. It makes me sick that I lost everything my daughter too.
In return I am not part of my family and my family feels that not helping with a trial for custody my children’s father surprised me with. My parents made me do it Pro Se. I am still in therapy for the physical damage. I found out later that the state of Pa. Should have waited to do the trial as I had a concussion from my abuser. I had to call last week to OVA have them look into my human rights being broken from the domestic abuse as that has made me want to give up.
I am sad that the arresting officer put me in jail with my abuser ti watch Sunday football. The A.D.A. saw the charges deleted them from my file and told the state police to re-investigate my case again. The state police who was the same officer who was there to file charges on my abuser was there to put me in jail. The officers went through my phone, and denied me my human rights.
The fact that the arresting officer who was at the magistrate, and officer from the last incident. He tried to scare me with his buddies using a cross filed pfa from me protecting myself from my abuser. He and his state police buddies came to my house in full swat gear.about 12 of them. who, got the attention of my neighbors. I took the pfa and told them to leave me alone. I wasn’t the bad one and I was more important than stupid football. In the end that officer was at the hearing as my ex told his counsel he wanted it to go to jury trial. That same officer that covered up what truly happened, was at the hearing and I found out, my victim advocate in my county had helped hide the paper work as the judge had no idea what really was going on.
It turned out with two pages of felonies the DA who was in charge of my case did not get my evidence of all 15 files of stalking having to relocate and was refused by my county courthouse advocate to explain why the DA didn’t have the evidence and why she would not let me come down their, and give the evidence to the DA. And judge. He didn’t call to get the evidence? I waited almost 2 yrs. He got 12 months probation and he got a place and disability and I am still trying to find a place or even a dog to keep me safe. I’m tired of losing it al for someone not worth my time. Thanks