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What Do We Focus On?

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Jiva Masheder
Mindfulness & Self-Compassion Teacher
Listen to this story about where we tend to put our attention, and see if you recognise this pattern! when we know our patterns, then we can work to change them to new ones that are more beneficial for us.
From the community
63 reflections
K
Kathy
Focus
I love this story because it so truthfully addresses our nearsightedness as we view our lives and the world. There is so, so much more here for us to notice. This is not insignificant by any means.
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Linda
What do I focus on
I learned that when I’m having a rough day, I’d do best to think about what I’m focusing on. I spent about a half hour driving in circles trying to get to my PT appointment. I was so frazzled by the time I arrived, I could barely think. Getting ready for bed just now, I felt really depressed. This story helped me re-focus on all the nice things in my life and to remember what a lucky person I am. That’s making me think about what I can do to help someone else have a happy day.
M
Matthew
Thinking outside of the box
In this story, I can only imagine myself facing the professor’s test challenge. I’m a creative-type, and usually quite flippant. Faced with a dot in the middle of a page, rather than equating it to real life, I’d have likely answered that it was a picture of a polar bear in a snow storm, or some other little joke. One of my usual life goals is to make people smile, give them a laugh! Approaching things in my life from this point of view has served me okay so far I guess! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I'm reminded of my own days in high school: during my English classes, there were two instances when I refused to deliver the assignment as directed, and each time it worked in my favor! Challenged to write an essay describing the monster Grendel from the story Beowolf, I instead drew a picture of the creature....the teacher loved the creativity shown, even though I technically turned the English assignment into an art assignment! The following year, tasked with presenting a short performance to the class of a scene from Shakespeare's Macbeth, I convinced a couple of my friends to join me in a studio to produce a full audio-drama instead! When the day came to perform in front of the class, instead, we played our produced tape and then turned a copy if the cassette in to the teacher! Full marks! High marks.
C
Cyndee
Beyond what you see
All I can say is that my mind wandered and I saw myself sitting in a classroom staring at the black dot on the white paper. I closed my eyes and could still see the black dot but it started getting fuzzy and bigger. I then experienced a pleasant little day dream and I wrote about it. You don’t have to just live by the obvious or do what you think the norm is. Life is more than what you see.
M
Milena
Value in life
I learned that we really are blind with what is happening around us a d this really made me open my eyes
S
Sarah
I learned that
Life can be hard and there are some negative things in life but instead of looking at the bad things, focus on the good things you have because some people might not have it. I thought the example was amazing for teaching people this.
K
Kassandra
I’ve learned
I learned that we don’t always focus on the right things to focus on
J
Jessica
Focus
I need not to focus on the bad part but the good parts of my life.
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Neelarka
De-focus
The session inspires us to shift our focus from the negativities and adversities of life to the affirmative and assuring aspects. However, it sometimes happens that the primary problem with ourselves is difficulty in focussing itself. Nonetheless, the tale was revealing.
B
Barb
So much to ponder!
Gratitude as a vehicle for joy to come into our lives, is a simple, yet amazing idea. Gratitude doesn’t have to be abasement of the self, it can be rejoicing in what is shared with us, and what we share with others. It’s so easy to take everything we have - however much or little - for granted, and either not see it or just want more of it. And then obsess about negatives, disappointments, failures. We forget gratitude, and what we have gratitude for. A besetting sin of our species is heedlessness, I think. So it’s imperative that we pay attention.
G
Gigi
Blackness
I don’t know how I feel about blackness being associated with negative things and difficulty I’m not but it made me uncomfortable especially with what’s going on in today’s society I don’t know why a color Has to be associated. The color of the dot could’ve been anything else and it would’ve still been what we focus on I just find it strange that it’s black and the association.
J
Julie
Focusing on the negative
A few months ago I had a situation dropped into my life that I did not want. I am still angry about it. And even though there are so many good things in my life my mind tends to focus on this one negative aspect. Right now I’m not ready to find one positive thing about the situation. I know where the anger is coming from. And I have the tools to work through it. Just haven’t made it a priority.
T
Terri
Turning a negative into a positive~
I’ve been making things around me a positive situation instead of worrying about the negative, especially at work, where I’ve worried about things that will never change no matter how much I try to change them or obsess over those things. Even today, while driving home from work I would normally be thinking and stressing over whatever happened at work that made me angry. Instead, today, I decided to take a different approach and just notice everything around me... I was shocked to notice businesses, stores, etc just on my short drive between work and home that I had not even noticed was there before. It was exciting to me to notice all of these positive things around me instead of just stressing after my day at work. I’m going to continue to do this. It helps me to de-stress, which so am having to do for my own physical and mental health. Time to focus on positive things and let the negative things go away! This was a good story!
C
Camagu
Appreciate more and worrying less
S
S
Focus on the rest of the paper. Not just the difficult (black dot). When we obsess over
The negative, we are not living a balanced life. Friends, health, where we live and work. Joy. Life is a whole piece of paper filled with joy.
D
Daniel
What do we focus on?
The question we should ask ourselves. I think I’ve Ben focusing on the wrong things for a while now
A
Abby
Reflect
I realized that I usually only focus on the black dot too. Sometimes the dot is so contrasting to the rest of the paper, everything else just disappears.
C
Catherine
Catherine
I learned that I see all the extrordinary thing are the big things. Keeping me hopeful and happy
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Laura
What do we focus on?
I think our minds are conditioned to lead with the negatives first, but it would be a great everyday exercise to lead with positives.
S
Sarah
Thanks
I learned to not worry about the little things in life and I that I should live life and be happy with what I have
L
Lisa
Refocus
Reminded me refocus. Broaden my view. Don’t put all of focus on the not so great
J
Jessica
Details
We need to focus , breath and see the whole picture.☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️
S
Susan
What Do We Focus On
Look at the positive. Focus on the bright side. So easy to say but so hard to do. Always try to see that ray of light
A
Alex
Great reminder
Everyone can always use a reminder to maintain the focus on the good and wonderful things going on around us. I need this everyday.
S
Susan
What Do We Focus On
Do not allow only the negative things in your life become your focus. It will steal your joy. It will cause you to be put of balance. Open your eyes and mind to the good.
R
Rud
Foco em coisas boas
Preciso focar nas coisas boa da vida, e não ter olhos apenas pra o problema.
R
Rud
Escrever menos
Preciso mandar menos mensagens, escrever menos e falar menos, conter minha opinião as vezes
K
Kay
Calm
I realised that I smiled while listening to this. Because I am exactly like that student . I definitely will try more to look at the white paper
L
Laurie
Noticing
I noticed how automatic we notice the obvious or loudest... the rest is so much more a blessing.
d
dani
Our Live’s Focus
I learned today that we tend to focus on the ‘dark things’ in our life rather than the light. It’s best to have a healthy balance of the two to live your life to its fullest.
E
Erika
Think about the good things
It is so easy to get wrapped up in the difficult things, to get snarled in what is challenging and hard and dark, and we forget to focus on the good things—our relationships, our health, having enough food to eat, our home. I want to do less focusing on the hard things and let in more light, open myself to appreciating more everything else. I also want to let it give me joy and not feel so much pressure. I want to think less about the future and more about the present, the moment, this moment. In doing so, I will find more joy and hopefully be able to resist my perfectionist urges.
M
Melissa
Focus on the rest
There is so much more than the little complications there is a huge picture to look at. This story rings so true for me. I obsess about what goes wrong and indicate on perfection rather than enjoying the big picture.
C
Carly
Pessimism
I do tend to focus on the negatives. Would like to change this.
A
Ava
Ava
I tend to always think about all the negative thing and wrong stuff that happens and end up worrying and begin to be anxious. This helped me to not always think about that one thing and focus on all the good stuff that happens in my life and feel good about myself because I am worth it.
AC
Abrina C.
Practiced right away
When I allowed myself to pay attention to whats beyond the black dot I pictured my children at different stages of their life which brought an inner warmth.
C
Cookie
Focus
I tend to think about negative things in my life and cause myself anxiety where I should focus more on all the positive
M
Melissa
The Black Dot
This was an excellent illustration of where we naturally focus. I need to stop focusing on the black ones dot in my life. I’m going to make a list of everything in my own black dot as a reminder to look elsewhere.
K
Kellye
Needed This
I instantly started thinking of all the good and positive things I have going in my life. The bigger picture is always prettier than the black dot
A
Alichia
Be grateful
I need to not focus on all the terrible things in life, pay attention to the good as well. I need to appreciate what is going well and remind myself of this during difficult times.
M
Megs
Focus
Keep your eye on the things that are going well. There is always something wonderful in our lives, as simple as it may be.
R
Raichell
Focus
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Look at the bigger picture. Focus on the positives in my life.
N
Nikki
Perfectly said
I think we all struggle seeing the good in our lives because everyone's focused on other peoples lives and how happy they are. The sad part is social media is fake and most people aren't exactly as happy as they come across. This was perfectly said and is definitely touching i hope it helps us all to see more good in our lives.💜
L
Linda
Day 1
Conflict with others even if justified causes anxiety and stress...along with profound sadness.
H
Helen
Inner validation and my self worth
I focus on the bad when I’m not fully recharged and I don’t look after myself and then I think the worst of everything and can project
I
Isobel
The Blank Space Around Us
I learned that it’s very easy for us to focus on specific details that we often forget to take a step back and notice the big picture. It’s easy for me to get caught up in everything that I wish I could change but if I take time to express gratitude for what I do have, I’ll realize that what I am obsessing over doesn’t really matter.
R
Robin
I i fdo exactly that same thing focus on the black dot with a little bit of panic or anxiety !
I learned that I need to be prompted to look at the positives and the larger picture
R
Robin
The blank space around us
I learned that given a task a get anxious and related to seeing the negative and the bad without seeing the larger picture as equally important
B
Bryyyyon
Myself is not an Option
Today, I had a RE-iteration of understanding that my life will never be satisfied by putting my needs in front of others. This is a sad life. As a believer in Christ, this makes everything more introspectively sad. Night
C
Cindy
Life
I come to realize more and more that we need to enjoy and be altered in our lives just by living actually living life which is not portrayed well in these words that I’m speaking but I would say that living life is enjoying the most little subtle things and finding beauty and happiness all around you especially for me as it pertains to God
J
Jamie
Other issues
I was thinking how did the dot get their was it dropped from his pen then made a copy of it!
K
Kat
The black dot
Why are we always so focused on the black dot snd ignoring the rest? Not realizing or seeing the bigger picture. We are stuck in this bubble or square or the black dot. We need to stop and look around more.
MJ
Mary Jane
Focus
I need to do this more with my husband. I do tend to look at his black dot more than the good things about him. Why am I this way with him? I can see the good in everyone else.
B
Breanna
Life is good.
I learned that the black dots in life are just a small majority. They don't take up as much space as the "white space", yet it's what I and most people focus our attention on. There's a lot we take for granted. Things are largely good and it gets better the more you focus on that. The black dot isn't representative of our whole story.
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Susan
What Do We Focus On
Thank you for the reminder to focus on the positives in my life. When you train the mind to find the positive, you will begin to see more
K
Kristina
I needed this today
This really hit me today, I needed to hear it. I have been so focused on how I’m not where I feel I should be in my journey that I’m not celebrating how far I’ve already come. Thank you!
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Laura
Focusing on the positive
Oh from the story I was reminded how important it is not to dwell on the difficult things were too long call Matt into instead think about things are going well I like the color backdrop I’d like the college backdrop of the story I’m in school right now and it makes destroy extra relatable and the lesson is it easy to learn. I am grateful for those who work at Aurel at this app for reminding me to focus on the good things. I appreciate the people Adora for putting this track together. I am also extremely grateful for the community at Aura for taking the time to read this post. Hopefully, you are all OK and happy and well.
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Brian
Thankful
This story made me focus on what to be thankful for. Not disappointed in
J
Jen
Everything
That I do focus on the 1 everything that is not perfect or right bye my own standards and need to give myself a much needed break and refocus on the everything that is good in life
J
Joni
Default reactions
I tend to focus on the negative because that’s what causes the pain. I’m trying to switch my perspective towards gratitude.
S
Susan
Focus
Don't allow the positive things in your life to become the background. Remember to focus on the good things too. This brings balance to your life
C
Catherine
I feel like I do focus on not what’s good, but what could go wrong…
A lot of other people do the same…I will try to look beyond the “black dot,” the darkness!
S
Sara
The black dot
I learned that the more attention I give to the small things that are not great; it diminishes from life’s greatest joys and blessings.
V
Vickie
Black dot
I will never forget about the Black dot I will be thinking about that every day and how important it is never forget the blessings we have had in our lives..I personally felt ashamed of myself because that’s exactly what I was doing focusing on the Black dot. I am 74 and not in good health I felt sorry for myself till I seen the black dot. I am lying here right now and thinking about all my blessings that the Lord has given me that I never appreciated.It’s actually very scary if we let that black dot Control our lives. The thought of living the rest of my life not ever feeling joy happiness contentment And all the beautiful things in this world we can enjoy that are free. From this day forward I will be looking at the white part of the paper and letting that black go.away.I want to feel free and I hope anyone else that listens to this I will experience what I have today