Be as I am, Love as I do
I sought out this particular meditation to help me cope with an overwhelming sense of fear for loneliness-something I am not experiencing right now but nevertheless always have the persistent fear that I may in the (immediate future). This was a fear that was essentially incited by my worry that my preference for taking frequent absences from social media (as someone who’s not an avid user of it) would serve to alienate my closest friends and friends in general.
I then felt that familiar compulsion to text them based on that urge to retain them in my life for the principal panicked purpose of eluding loneliness, rather than for the contentment I get from having them in my life, which is what I feel innately prompts me to text them, but this is often drowned out by both the small and large waves of this fear of one day not having them in my life because I take a couple of days to text back sometimes, or text back once a day most times.
Through this meditation I was able to find a new mantra that I can use to anchor myself during these bouts of overwhelming fear-« Be as I am, Love as I do. » This acts as a reminder of sorts that the people who know me understand that I am not one for social media but know that I care deeply about them and that I’ll always make the effort to connect with them and are always here for them. Because I am-but in getting lost in the fear, I forget that. It also reminds me that I should endeavour to keep connecting with them because I genuinely want to, not because I need them to fulfill spaces in to eschew feeling lonely. They are not tools, not accessories.
It also reminds to keep being as I am, and I like where I am, because I feel like I have finally attained a good balance between being able to regularly keep in touch with my friends and simultaneously not feeling like I’m rendering to much of myself to screens-something that always leaves me feeling drained. I am grateful for this meditation.