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The Two Reasons Why You Must Always Be Honest & Truthful

3 Min
Life Coaching
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Dorothy Ratusny
Psychotherapist & Meditation Teacher
In this episode of Life Coaching Wisdom, I share the two most important reasons why you need to always tell the truth - and especially when it is not easy to do so.  I also offer strategies and 'scripts' that you can use to make your job of being wholly honest and truthful - much easier!   Honesty and truthfulness are not the same thing.  Being honest means that you do not tell lies.  Being truthful means actively making known all of the full truth of a matter.  When you are truthful, you are honestly expressing how you perceive or feel about something. Being both honest and truthful allows you to have meaningful and authentic relationships - with yourself, and others. I hope that this recording will inspire you to practice honesty and truthfulness in all ways in your life. Namaste!! xo
From the community
58 reflections
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Tressa
Wow, truth hurts.
This app knows me better than I know myself. I’ve been in an, overall, unhappy relationship with my son’s father for 4+ years now. Recently, I’ve been working on becoming more independent and have stumbled upon a group of people who remind me of my worth and make me happy. Lately, I’ve been sugarcoating things with him, but this was a reminder that, even though I don’t want anyone to get hurt, I need to be honest so that I can do what’s best for both myself and my child
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Freda
Trying to protect
I find my self avoiding lots of situations. I don’t like confrontation and try to protect. It’s not really not being honest it’s more like avoiding tough topics
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Alyssa
I feel scared.
Sometimes I’m scared that if I keep being my authentic self I will be rejected. I truly do live my life by truth and honesty. Yes; that does cause a lot of tension which really scares me that I may be “too honest” & cause the break in my relationship.
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Anita
Honesty
True ..but even if we are being honest how do we know the opp ppl are honest with us...nowdays ppl chose to hide their true self... I alwats put myself the way I am and am honest and true in what I feel and say.
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Anelisa
What if he’s not honest?
🤷🏽‍♀️ That honesty plays a huge role in a relationship. I’m honest, I’m an honest person in general but what if he’s the one who’s not honest?
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MICHEL
Truth
I Learnt That The Truth Always Sets You Free.Even If It Hurts And Is Bitter. Its Beautiful
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Aisha
I learned that
Telling the truth and being honest is always the best thing to do.
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jane
honesty
truth hurts that's why sometimes I kepp what's on my mind. I want to feel important and accepted
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Lisa
Honesty and truthfulness
Many times I find that being honest and truthful make me feel too vulnerable. I tend to push away rather than reveal my true feelings. That protector in me says “I don’t need you.” “I am fine without you.” “You can’t hurt me.” I know this is sabotaging. Sometimes I can’t help but just push away.
WJ
Walter J
Truth-ing...
I dislike lies more than anything! I am terrible at telling them. Either I forgot what the lie was & easily be caught in it or I would feel so guilty I would just blurt out the truth to be done with it. Either way I gave up lying at an early age. I think my parents had a lot to do with it when I was young. My mom would say trust is like a crystal bridge, once it is broken it does not easily get repaired. I say “Lie to me once, how can I ever believe Anything you say?!” For a long time my goal has been to be totally transparent with anyone & everyone. Do not ask me if your butt looks ok in those pants unless you want the truth!! Now that does not mean I ever have the right to be nasty about being truthful. It is a matter of tact & disclosure. Having a large vocabulary to pick just the right word for the occasion is very helpful. That is something I truly enjoy doing, having a positive word or phrase for anyone & everyone. But never if it is not true & sincere. When I compliment you I need it to be authentically so. There is a saying that goes something like “Seek the truth & the truth will set you set free” but I believe it really should be: “Speak the truth & the truth will set you free” Free from a guilty conscious & free from trying to remember what your lie was so you do not get caught in it. Truth is Law in my book. Seek to know the Laws & you will find the truth! Then it is easier to be truth-full!! It make it so much easier to be transparent when you have no shading of lies within you to darken your Life Light. After all, if you do not speak the truth, then whatever you say is a lie!! No matter the size or the intention. ❤️⚖️🍀
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Jamariakingstonstoke
What I learned today)
Luv mean alot when it come from one person but 2 then that's luv if someone can't luv you from deep down in they heart then ain't no luv there none but pain if all they won't from you is sex ! Sex is a medicine it create pattern ( thanks so much for sharing this with us woman & men's 🥰
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Natasha
Honesty in a Complex Relationship
Thank you for making me more aware of the need for authenticity and honesty in my relationship. My situation is complex, my partner is deeply sensitive - if I am honest, he is deeply hurt. He would prefer I speak only the positive. In one way, it encourages me to search for positivity in all things. But the downfall is that I lose authenticity. It’s hard to reconcile and he is reluctant to seek help regarding the deeper issues that perhaps make him so sensitive to even the lightest criticism.
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Shasta
Authentic
Thank you its so easyto forget honesty also means being the real authentic you...
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Jessica
What I’ve leArned
Be authentic with yourself so that u can be free to be who u truly are...... honestly and truthfulness is what I crave
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Wendy
Honest/Truthful
This is vital to everything. There is dignity and deep respect in being honest and truthful. It says “I am here with you in my totality and I know you are capable of being here in the same way”. Beauty and strength come from gentle consistent truthfulness and honesty. I have found as I have acquired years these two qualities hold me up and help me to be stronger in my heart each day.
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Samantha
Wisdom
I chose the longer version of this because I have been finding my concentration is off lately and if it’s less than five mins it’s finished before I can concentrate no matter how interesting. This did help but I still had to listen twice, an interesting track once I did concentrate though, this is more about my problems with concentration than the track itself
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Gloria
So good it’s scarey
I’m dealing with CPTSD. i need to hear how to be authentic in my world. Even when it is hard to hear.
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Maila
Being truthful and honest has cost me a promotion at work
I learned that being honest and truthful doesn’t always help you in a job interview. I was judged according to my truthful answer, so despite my credentials and qualifications that are greater than my fellow interviewees, I was turned down. But I guess it wasn’t meant to be. I will still continue to be honest and truthful in any aspect of my life, for that’s how I can live with myself.
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Dan
Honesty
I am getting better at this. For too long I sought my self-worth from others opinions of me and as a result I said what people wanted to hear instead of how I felt. I am working on this and it’s getting better. Progress…daily.
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John
Truth and honesty
I’ve always did my best to be truthful and honest. Not so good when I didn’t want someone to feel hurt. I care toooo much and feel for others. I’m an empathetic person I feel others pain. So when they hurt I hurt.
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Barbie
Honesty
My relationship ended because I wasn’t honest. He says omission is a lie. My omission was because I didn’t feel it mattered. Still, our relationship ended. All his doing. I didn’t feel I was lying. It’s been 1 1/2 years now since we broke up. He has moved on. I cannot.
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Delayne
Authenticity
I really appreciated the touch point on authenticity at the end. That I feel is the greatest goal of truth and honesty. While I do find it’s hard to live a completely truthful life while being incredibly empathetic and not wanting to do any harm to others emotional well being and then again just be able to be around people in general. It’s been cyclic.
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Tanya
Be honest to be authentic
Relationships unravel when one or both people are not honest and truthful. Erosion of trust. Being honest means being your authentic self. Made me think and reflect on times when I spare others my honesty because it might hurt or offend, or to avoid confrontation. This compromises my authenticity and makes me smaller.
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Jennifer
Authenticity
I avoid honestly when I am afraid it will cause anger. I’m very fearful. But I want to scream it out at times and those times it comes out all wrong. So I keep it in and therefore I’m safe.
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Lesley
Truthful
Being truthful to myself allows me to truly see others as they are and not how I need them to be. This in true gives me opportunity to make more authentic connections with others, grounded on authenticity
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Cherie
Resonated
This resonated with me in the fact that I am learning a hell of a lot about myself this past year of not working, I have been working on myself. I am trying to figure out the people I want in my life who align with my life!
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Rut
This is definitely a change I need to make
I need to find the confidence/self esteem to be truthful and not be afraid of being judged.
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Marelle
Ironic
Interestingly, I was discussing exactly this with my partner last night! Being completely honest and truthful with yourself and others helps to create the life you want, rather than a life that chooses you.
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Bailey
Honesty
I feel that I am a fairly honest person however there are reasons to hold back everything in your head for instance if a person asks me how they look and they want an honest answer so the deaf they don’t look their best I could help them change it by sharing my opinion they can choose to change their clothes but what about if the person doesn’t have a way to change their clothes or they’re disabled and it’s difficult to change their clothes do I really have to tell them they look like crap because actually I can actually look at them and think to myself that that person is very beautiful and it doesn’t matter about the clothes so I will tell them honestly they look beautiful when maybe they don’t so is that a little white lie -of course it is but in certain circumstances I don’t think it’s an issue. Or my granddaughter had highly abusive parents and she was molested and she asked me what I tell her no it’s not appropriate. I would tell her that we need to talk about it another time or talk about it with her father. So it just really depends on what it is but yes generally I think honesty is the best policy.
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amatista
Spoke to the heart
Honestly knowing and focusing on the difference between honesty and truthfulness is deep. Being in a relationship where you cannot be your authentic self is a hurdle.
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Marlene
Should we be honest.
I I learned that there’s a difference between being honest and being truthful. An important difference. I learned the importance of being honest has to do with authenticity and self-confidence. I like the ability to share this, put it on a playlist, and continue pondering it with the ambience of the Nature Sounds at the end.
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Julie
Truth and honesty
It’s easy to say that I will always speak the truth. But there are times I don’t want to deal with confrontation or hurt someone’s feelings. I am currently working on this,
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Brian
1st Coaching session Honest & Truthful
I realized I need to really decide but both of these words mean to me and to make sure that I process it in a way that is applicable for me as an iamb different from others and decide am I really being honest and truthful that something I believe that I am and two of my greatest qualities but I may not be just as this lady mentioned and I may not be there as much as I think I am I need to consider and weigh the cost and just consider this more probably relisten to it at some time though that’s not usually something I end up doing but perhaps hopefully this will be a change. Voice texting and hope this came out all right.
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Reagan
First 3 minutes smoothing voice, Digest & honest
I find that the session, albeit very, very, very short nothing new or inspirational, to be honest. Thank you for sharing
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Marie
I felt re grounded with your 8 minute meditation Dorothy.
I continue to learn that my “HOW”Program of recovery Honesty Openness Willingness to change , reinforcing daily my 12 Step program particularly Steps 4, 5, 8,9, 10. I do not regret my past nor shut the door on it… today if I am not rigorously honest with myself …, I cannot be honest or truthful with others in my life! I am truthfully..a living Miracle!❤️‍🩹🙏🏼Namaste🌄😌
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Mark
Never use the word ‘Always’
Telling someone this sets them up for failure. Yes there are benefits of being truthful and honest but sometimes it’s better to be kind.
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Rob
Truthful
Being truthful sometimes requires much thought and preparation. Especially when it may hurt someone you care about.
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Ana
Authenticity makes you Vulnerable
Fear of other’s reactions paralyzes me from speaking my truth and over time it has resulted in my living in a shell. This It developed after many years of psychological abuse from a husband of many years an childhood trauma.
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Val
I would fail this one
I would fail this almost completely. In my own defense I would not lie to someone for personal gain but I would absolutely lie to spare their feelings. In second grade we took a survey that asked what you dislike most and I put down that I hated to hurt anyones feelings. I meant it and I haven’t changed. It hurts me a lot to see people hurt. Also I keep many things to myself from my family and husband. No I am not genuine, but I am a private person. I don’t like those around me to know everything I am interested in. It makes me feel vulnerable. Plus I dislike the questions that may follow even if they are benign. The fact that I subscribe to Aura is an example of a secret I would never share. I do realize that this dishonesty does not enhance my relationships, but I am comfortable this way.
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Vicky
I felt scared
I have to be honest to have a good marriage. I feel scared to be honest because of reaction from others. They wo t like th “authentic” me
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Harriette
Hard to be open
There are things about my life that I’m embarrassed to talk about.
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Harriette
Hard open up
There are things in the past that are embarrassed to talk about
KT
Katelin Theunissen
Day one
Wow! This hit me right in my feels! Where I'm at in my own life personally and in my relationship. This. I needed to hear this, this morning.
CC
Cheyenne Chester
I am honest
I know what purposely serves me and what doesn’t. If someone asked me a question I always answer truthfully.
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Jackie
Honest
No I’m not, I have to admit that in a relationship because I didn’t want to be in that anymore
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Jackie
Honestly
It scary to have to be honest to that one person. It scares me in so many ways.
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David
I like to think I’m honest and I am mostly but iv done it iv lied and wrecked trust
I have learned it’s better to tell the truth and get it out of the way
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Dawn
Honest / Truth
I am not always 100% honest only because I might not want to hurt the other person. Other than that, yes I am. I like to be truthful - it’s the only way and not keep it in. It brings me mental peace. Once the truth is out - we can talk more completely.
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Robyn
Truth
It’s OK to be authentic and to be yourself and to not pretend
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Christa
Honesty
I learned I have a lot of growth and work to do because I have not be honest to myself or to others. I do not who I am truly I really don’t even understand the question who are you? I look for a generic answers to this question, that is how I know I have no idea who i am. I believe I hid from pain for so long I created a new person a fake person and lost the real me somewhere in the journey. I hope to be able to retrace my steps and pick up pieces as I go and put the real, true and honest me back together
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Andi
Honesty
I learned that I am not always completely honest, if it would cause someone else to feel uneasy
sm
sjdtravelers@msn.com
Honesty
When I listen to your definition, I ask myself why should I be completely honest if it would create turmoil with someone I don’t really care to have a relationship with? Sometimes it’s better to be silent.
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candee
I agree didn’t really pertain to me
I agree didn’t really pertain to me. I don’t feel like relationship is issue
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Beebo
Truth defined
It is important to keep telling the truth. The truth is the truth no matter how so many people around want to redefine truth. Truth will always move in the proper direction no matter what. Our society depends on this solid definition no matter what.
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Beth
Honesty
I learned that honesty is a necessary ingredient to forming authentic relationships.
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Robert
Confusion
Timing and sensitivity are an important part of honesty. How you express your concerns snd when are essential if one doesn’t wasn’t to harm the other person. How is as essential as what.
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Richelle
Truth
I learned that I am not truthful to myself. I pretend to feel ok and great in front of others coz I wanted to present myself to be just fine… we’ll Infact I’m not. It’s sad :(
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Tracey
Truth
I am not truthful with my partner Tom about wanting to date for fear he will leave me and that I don’t want him to find someone else
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