3 min

The Gift of Insults

3 Min
Story
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Cass Carlopio
Sleep Expert, Psychologist & Meditation
This is a zen story about learning to handle the "gifts" that people give you.
From the community
34 reflections
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Beth
Gift of Insults
I choose what gifts I receive. I was grateful for autonomy this morning which turns out to be very fitting. The “gifts” that people try to give me are not mine unless I “accept” them. The gifts belong to the giver without acceptance through the way I react.
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Linda
Gifts of Insults
I like the message in this story. Insults can only hurt you if you take them in. I worked with a person I greatly admired for his ability to not take things personally. I think he just ignored the insults. I learned to think about what might be going on with the person and that helped give some distance whether I figured it out or not.
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Kenira
Insults
A lot of the times we get hurt because we allow it. Let’s be so in tune with ourselves that we avoid getting hurt. This story is so powerful! “If someone gotten you a gift that you didn’t want, to whom the gift belongs”. This story got me thinking on the many occasions I didn’t stay still to refuse the GIFT. Life is a constant learning experience, either positive or negative. It’s a journey on becoming a better version of yourself.
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Debb
The Gift of Insults
“If someone comes to give you a gift and you do not receive it, to whom does the gift belong?” Perhaps my mind is working a bit slowly this morning. It took me a minute to understand this quote in relation to the story. But once the light 💡 went on, I realized this was a great reminder that we do not have to accept the negativity of others. In the culture we are living in today, this story is a gift to accept and hold close. 🌺🦋🌺
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Kathryn
Accepting negativity
If we accept negativity, then we will have let that mindset control us. We are able to not accept negativity, without giving it back to others.
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Cam
Day 4 continued
I don’t have to let the outside world, pressure, expectation and fear impede me and those around me. It is one thing to take in the stressor and not spit it back out. But another to let it come and go.
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Matthew
So? What?
Don't let others get under your skin? Or into your head? Seems legit, if difficult.
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Apple
Know your self
If you know yourself enough and you know you don’t deserve what is being thrown at you...you will never be affected,or as the saying goes you never put a good man down.
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Naomi
Gift of Insults
I learned that by not accepting or responding to an insult you are taking away its power to harm you.
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Susan
The Gift of Insults
Remember that even if it does not feel like a gift, treat it as if it is. Everything can benefit you. Just look for the lesson.
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Kathy
A gift 🎁
Whenever something is brought to be given to us, we have the ability to either accept or refuse that which has been brought. If the gift is something positive, genuinely meant to be good for us, we can happily accept it and it then belongs to us. Alternatively, if someone brings unpleasantness, unkindness, meanness, thoughtlessness, a gift negative or hurtful to us in any way, we can ignore the gift and refuse to take possession. Once refused, the gift still belongs to the “giver” and we remain free, in tune, unaffected by the gift and untethered to it in any way. That is the gift that we can give ourselves; the freedom of response in our own favor.
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Matthew
Sticks and stones...
May break my bones, but names will never hurt me. (encapsulation of this story & it’s moral)
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Susan
The Gift Of Insults
Always look for the gift in any situation. What is it giving you? What are you learning? Often it is a hard task to do but so worth it.
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Laura
Gift of insult
I never thought of insults or attacks as gifts. Before when ppl where being mean and nasty I’d just return it with kindness. Of course over the years I’ve become more reactionary bc I’ve forgotten how to reciprocate kindness in light of the opposite. But this story makes me see it in a different way—as gifts. If I don’t take it, it’s theirs, not mine. And I can kindly not accept their gift of insults.
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Susan
The Gift of Insults
A year later, this meditation appears for me again! Be aware, you do not have to accept gifts from others especially if it is negativity. If not accepted, the "gift" stays with the person who gives it
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Patrick
Lessons
This great meditation illustrates a very important power that you possess. The Power to Own Who You Are!” Never surrendering control to anyone.
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Lainey
Positively insulting
This is a great meditation for a different perspective compared to how people often react to insults. I’ll work to incorporate this in my life. Love this!
WJ
Walter J
Unaccepting...
Decidedly simple and effective! A must listen for all who would be wise! ❤️☮️🍀
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Cherish
Untethered
All one has to do is go on social media platforms and see for themselves all of the insults people give one another. It is crazy. It’s easy to be nice to others when they are nice to us. It is much more difficult to be nice when another is throwing insults to us. Because they now feel threatened, their parasympathetic system gets activated and their emotional state goes from niceness into a fight, flight or freeze mode and most fight back. And, the craziness continues. In this profound story, we learn how we can keep our emotional state untethered from the negativity by taking a new approach to insults. Considering them as gifts. In regards to gifts, there must be a giver and a receiver. So, if someone is giving us insults, we do not need to accept them. By not accepting these ‘gifts’, we do not allow our inner space to be affected and thus, our emotional state can be untethered from any negativity. It will probably drive the other crazy because we are not being reactive to their gifts and as a result, more gifts may be given to us. As we come to realize our awareness more, we can be cordial to them as we begin to walk away, untethered.
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dani
Gifts
I learned that not accepting whatever ‘gifts’ someone gives to us means that there is no one receiving it.
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Kora
Thank you aura
Its okay to make mistakes and learn from them. Thank you aura.
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Sylvia
It’s not easy to be patient & calm. Especially when someone is being very rude and mean.
But I learned that eventually people will get tired of doing bad to one. If we don’t feed them to continue to attack us. It’s okay to walk away. It’s okay to ignore. It’s okay to block our soul from negative acts. It’s okay to humble. It’s okay.
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Colleen
Gift of Insults
I have learned that when I am hurt or insulted, the only thing I can control is me and my reactions to those insults.
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Octavia
Insults
I was reminded that when someone’s comes to me with negative energy or negativity it’s up to me to not allow it to alter my mood.
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Julie
Gift
I am figuring out, they are all gifts. All an opportunity for growth. I am being challenged by my son’s wife and finally a s”switch” went off, this is not about me.
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Miranda
Reactivity
Can choose to react to outside forces or not. Not reacting is a choice too.
WJ
Walter J
Non-receiving...
Such a brilliant defense against negative people! Also pays to know your assailant!!! Thanks for this clever story! 🙏🏼🗣🍀
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Girlie
To whom does the gift belong
Not accepting the negativity leaves it in the giver’s hands.
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Susan
The gift of insults
Ypu do not have to accept what others bring - chaos, negativity, critism! Believe in and know yourself.
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Patrick
Power of Choice
That was deep. The choice to engage or not engage is always ours.
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Jennifer
Insults
I have done this and others don't know what to say. They may get angry. But it's the right thing to do for yourself. I just dealt with this yesterday. I thought, why did I even come here to see this person! It was a barrage of ugly. Just ugly stuff. And it's my fault. I put myself in the situation knowing it may happen. I'm an optimist. I don't like to give up on people. But I really need to know when it's time to take action and do it!! To let go.
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David
To the one left holding the gift
It’s so true. We internalize the words of others as if we are obligated to accept them, but we don’t have to accept them. We can leave them with the person that chose to verbalize them. Then they themselves will feel the impact of shame & regret for trying to push them onto another.
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Krystal
Not to me! 🙂
Woah. As a person recently coming out of trauma thinking, of assuming that I did need to respond to everything sent my way, my eyes widened at the unspoken punch line. To them. That gift is theirs to hold, not mine.
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Susan
Insults
This is so powerful! Nothing can hurt you unless you accept it. So wise but so hard to do