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Taming a Temper

3 Min
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Cass Carlopio
Sleep Expert, Psychologist & Meditation
This is a Zen story about separating sense of self from anger. 
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12 reflections
L
Linda
Great insight
I have been just accepting my temper as part of me. This story gives me a different way to look at it. I will try looking at it as a foreign invader the next time it rears its ugly head.
H
Hi
Temper
Your temper does not belong to you as it comes on suddenly and can’t be spontaneously produced. Separate it from your Self and you can tame it and overcome it.
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Laura
Temper
Definitely looking at what i consider my temperament differently. “Our temper” also depends on how long we decide to hold on to the feelings that make us have a temper. We HOLD ON to those feelings, yielding a result. The result, the temper is not truly us. Really short story but right to the punch.
M
Matthew
Quick to anger
I need to learn the lesson in this story. Since my massive stroke, I find that I'm extremely quick to anger all the time. I've completely ”lost my chill”...drop a hat, any hat, and I'll fly off the handle! I don't like it, my family doesn't like it, I worry about what the pressure and stress it causes on my now more fragile body might do to me. If I can, I’ll try, in the future, to remember the master’s words; that if I can recognize this extreme anger as not part of my better/general nature, maybe I can overcome it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Siena
Day 4
This zen story was okay. It was not my favorite, but it did have a lesson. The lesson in the story is not to let things that aren’t in your true nature bother you. “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; but you are the one who gets burned.”
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Ramon
Taming your temper
I didn’t understand this lesson. I don’t understand about my temper not being in my true nature and how I should just let go of things that are turning my temper on
J
Joee
Breathe
R
Rachel
it’s not me
almost every week, my mom and i get into an argument, and at least one (usually both) of us fly off the handle about things we could so easily discuss. i don’t understand why it’s so difficult if it’s SUCH an easy thing. this story helped me TREMENDOUSLY, because, if you really listen closely, you’ll realize it’s true. no one’s born with anger, so why is it even there? it was never meant to be a part of us. next time an argument is about to sneak up from behind me, i’m going to take a deep, quiet breath, and tell myself: “what’s about to enter you isn’t you. don’t let it in. instead, let out kindness to push away the anger with goodness.”
R
Rick
The Overwhelming Anger Lesson
Well, I learned two things. Anger is an emotional energy. It’s not part of my anatomy, nor is it something I wear, like a pair of pants. It occurs randomly. Since this energy comes and goes, but is not part of my true nature, perhaps I can learn to accept that I have anger energy in me at times, but I must not give it safe haven in me. I’ll allow it to pass through, and see if that works. Secondly, if you are troubled by something, best not to ask a borderline cocky Zen Master. Be well!
B
Brittany
But what if it isn’t so random?
This lesson didn’t really make sense to me nor help me much with my anger issues. I realize that the point is that we shouldn’t identify with our anger as a part of who we are, but how exactly will that lead me to “develop a calm temperament” like the student did in this tale? I don’t feel that anger simply comes randomly or just I’m bursts for me, it feels more like background music that’s always there, just in conjunction with whatever else I’m feeling. Even when I’m at my happiest I can still feel that rage inside me, just waiting for a reason to rear it’s head. At this stage I need more help with understanding and handling the rage, rather than stories of how my anger isn’t my identity.
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Laura
Negative behavior can change
I this story taught me that the first step to fixing a problem is realizing I Have the power to change my behavior and improve my situation.
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Susan
Taming a temper
What a lesson! Why do I let something that is not mine bother me? This is so helpful in many parts of my life