Navigator
The idea of knowing yourself as something beyond what you do or what you like or other beliefs you hold is powerful and compelling. I’m not sure who I am outside of those things. Also, the idea of a life that’s not frustrating is interesting. I think my hobbies are reading, writing, thinking, and growth. When I’m most frustrated it’s when my day is filled with people or activities that don’t leave time for this. This is more than just time to recharge my batteries, instead it’s an expression of who I am and what’s valuable to me. In my earlier life, I was driven by the desire to do work that was meaningful. This drove me to reach for the top of my profession, which I’m proud of. But now, I feel driven in a similar way to have a career that values me. That sees me as a key part of the story. Not just a cog. My whole self. A career that encompasses even my hobbies above, or at the very least compliments them or allows them. Sightbox has been my path for this. Right now though I feel a bit odd, as if I have chosen to devalue myself. As if I’m taking a back seat to my own business. There’s something there and I need to sort it out. Charlie and I are in the front seats of this bus, and now it’s full. I can’t leave him up there by himself. I’m his navigator. Maybe that’s what he’s missing from me. I used to be able to guide his energy. To point to places, to find new destinations. I could see what was beyond the horizon. Charlie would trust me and would set a course. Right now, I’m either afraid or low on confidence to lead. I was comfortable being Charlie’s navigator, but now I’ve got a whole boat full of people, and it’s intimidating. I’ve never lead people like this. But the truth is, they will go where Charlie and I go. In fact that’s why they’re in our boat. They want to be passengers on our journey. Our journey. Not just Charlie’s. Ours. The two of us are what makes this cruise fun. If it were up to Charlie alone, the destination wouldn’t be as exciting. If it were up to me alone, I’d have lots of amazing places I’d like to go, it is never reach any of them. Charlie is missing his co-pilot. And I’m not taking advantage of the confidence Charlie gives me to find amazing destinations. Our ship is ready to go, but we’re still still in the bay. Everyone is waiting to hit the open seas. And I’m below deck, maintaining the engine instead of manning the bridge. That seat next to Charlie is empty most days. Charlie and I need more time together. Now that things are happening, his time isn’t as open and neither is mine. Per week we only have an hour or two specifically for the two of us. I don’t think that’s enough. We’re not the people who simply started this company, we’re the ones actively running it. Our relationship is more important now than it’s ever been. The time we have scheduled now is not enough. And it should be all work. Our relationship is a big part of why people want to work with us. Our chemistry sets the tone for the