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Stop People Pleasing

4 Min
Healthy Mind
4.5k+ Plays
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Hannah Castillo
Mental Health Counselor, Life Coach
Engaging in people-pleasing can leave you feeling exhausted. It can cause you to experience increased stress, frustration and even contribute to lower self-esteem. This short track discusses some common characteristics of people-pleasing. It offers some strategies to help you stop this behavior and work toward regaining some balance in your life.
From the community
17 reflections
Stop People Pleasing
I realized that I’m a people pleaser. I always felt it made ME happy to make others happy but maybe I was just trying to buy or somehow earn their love. I thought by going along with what they wanted to do was making me part of the group. I recently found out the hard way by pleasing others they are not accepting me as me but just another peg in the wheel. They DID NOT accept me at all. When I started acting & doing things that made me happy they all (except 2) turned on me. Elaborating on my stories to make them into something they weren’t & spreading them between each other, I guess for entertainment. Calling me Candy behind my back & severing our 11 year friendship. Taking their family away from me & cutting me out of their lives entirely. Breaking my heart into a million pieces. But I have learned from this. I WILL be me. I will STOP trying to please people. I will be happy with myself. I WILL have self worth. I AM a good person & there WILL be people who will accept me for who I am. I WILL love myself!! Thank you for opening my eyes & stoping the crying ♥️
I felt happy and better
I learned that I need to think of myself before others and that to stop being worried and stressed I haft to think of myself and not other people Thank you Caleb
Great reminder
I definitely have the tendency to people please. It leaves me frustrated with myself on a daily basis. I am saving this and need to listen to this weekly to remember it is not mean to do what is best for me.
People pleasing
I used to think my middle name was “I’m sorry”. I’m the mother of four adult children and of course I often put their needs before mine. I would say that was my job. But now that I’m retired with my husband, I have a better chance of responding in a healthier way. I was trained to jump up and help. I was scolded with shame if I didn’t. It’ll take awhile to come to a nice middle ground. I feel I’m on the way!
Top notch
This short track is so crucial and important. We need to do a real work over time to change our choices, actions, attitudes according to a sound self esteem, self confidence, self care and value. Saved in my favorite tracks and will listen to this again and again until I have it deep in my heart and mind. Thank you
People Pleasing
I’ve always known I’m a people pleaser, but I don’t think I’ve ever tried to actively take steps to adjust that behavior. It’s always been an after thought, or a “yeah, I know…” and then move on type of thing. This session helped me realize that I should work on setting boundaries and implementing those boundaries.
So interesting
I feel this is such good advice. The exhausting and resentful feelings described are spot on. This gave me a kind and thoughtful approval to stop pleasing everyone else to my own detriment.
So interesting
I felt the described exhaustion and resentfulness were spot on. This gave me a smart and kind approval to stop pleasing others resulting in my own detriment.
I worry so much about hurting someone’s feelings that I neglect myself all the time. My people pleading contributed to the end of my marriage.
Thought provoking
I go from people pleasing to neglecting people and I have a hard time balancing. With these basic tools I think I might finally find some balance.
Artavia Lineszy
I thought it does really apply to me
I was so wrong. I realize I talk to my god sister way more than I want. Sometimes I require a lot of me time. But when she calls I always pickup because I feel she needs my support and there is still a voice in my head that says I’m lazy and a weirdo for not wanting to be around people all the time.
Taking time this morning -
Pausing declining saying no in a kind way looking at the intent but I think in a more reflective way each day looking at what am I going to do for myself today It might please others but they probably won’t know about it. If I don’t schedule time for me the people pleasing volunteering me will step right in. I’d like to read more each day.
I am definitely a people pleaser and take on too much
Give myself a pause to think about what I can and cannot do during the day. Think about the things I must do
Not making time for myself
I learned to try to pause before immediately saying yes. And saying yes to others is taking the time from myself.
Today I learned:
I tend to prioritize others over myself. And I never really thought of this as a bad or negative thing. But I’m starting to realize that showing myself that I’m not a priority has left me feeling unimportant. At least now that I’m aware of this I can work to balance myself with others on my priority list.
People pleasing
Thank you for reminding me that habitual people pleasing is more than just being polite. It is harmful to me
People pleasing
I see that I have reflected on this one before. It seems that I needed to be reminded again the difference between politeness and people pleasing