No Reply Anxiety
I’m getting better, I think, because I’m better able to recognize when a situation is similar to mine, but not exactly.
This meditation can qualify for helping me with the fact that my relatives doesn’t really call me or try to allow me to be an active member of the family.
The impetus is always on me. It has to be my motivation.
Never mind thinking that I might like to have them call me or text me or return my correspondence.
Everything always seems to be about what I’m not doing or saying. The barest effort is made on my behalf and I choose to forgive them for all of this because I’m the one who has to live with my body, mind, heart, soul. It’s attendant pains and enjoyments.
Because if I don’t do it, no one else will, but being loved externally as well as internally is necessary for every non-psychopath in the world.
I probably should look elsewhere for caring and being cared about more often, but I always feel like I crash and burn during every attempt to improve my life and circumstances.
It’s really quite maddening because they aren’t allowed to just SAY that your disabilities make you incongruous as a candidate for hire.
But you know that’s what it is. You know what they’re really saying, especially when you’ve jumped through a jungle gym with regard to your doctor’s input.
Not getting a reply when you’re desperately looking for employment is very demoralizing, but now I can remember that others applied for the job, as well, and everything has to be planned out before they ever interview you, much less hire you.
So, I’m taking a deep breath and remind myself that a reply at all is worth the wait, especially if it’s positive about interviewing and being hired.