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More Love, Not Less

3 Min
Meditation
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Christina +& Darrin
Meditation Expert + Therapist
When difficult emotions arise, we often experience something even more agonizing: a rejection of ourselves for feeling what we are feeling. Instead, what if our first instinct was to love ourselves even more fiercely whenever we feel stress, anxiety, or sadness? This meditation is a tribute to Matt Kahn's book "Whatever Arises, Love That," which directly inspired the words I am speaking.
From the community
87 reflections
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Christina
Why I created this meditation…
Matt Kahn's book, "Whatever Arises, Love That," has been transformative for both me and Darrin. The book teaches us that loving ourselves is the only answer, even – and especially – when we are in pain. A few months before Darrin met me, he was suffering from a devastating break up. He would drive around in his car for hours listening to Matt Kahn's book. The moment he learned to love his own pain, and to care for himself even deeper, was the moment he met me. That wasn't an accident. When we open our hearts to ourselves, we naturally let others in as well. I had the same experience with this book, especially during the severance of a good friendship. Learning to love myself through it all has been the greatest gift I could give myself. We hope this meditation grants you that same gift. In one of life's surprising twists, Matt Kahn is now in our circle of friends. Recently, he married one of Darrin's own extraordinary friends. More proof of the miraculous, connecting power of love.
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Patty
More Love
I am reminded (again) that I deserve more love, not less! Instead of ruminating about why I'm feeling sad, negative or just down, I will place my hand over my heart and say "I deserve more love, not less"! It is such a simple gesture to myself to use anytime. ❤️
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Tiffany
Hummingbirds & new clothes
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Hummingbirds surrounded me today. They symbolize beauty for me. Beauty is more than skin deep. Damn it felt good to buy nice clothes. A coach once said you feel how you dress. Today I felt elegant, worthy, and beautiful.
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Aarti
The light of life
I have been depressed and tired for several days now but could not seem to figure out why. This meditation felt so overwhelming when I thought of giving myself more love than less during this time that I cried through it. But it really unblocked my mind from what I needed: to love myself in my daily life and be kind through this tough time. I greatly appreciate the reminder that I am the most important person in my life, and that the light of life is self-love.
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Meredith
Giving the love I want to receive
Sometimes I can be so hard on myself- perfectionism, shame, and self-doubt leading to sadness, fear, and pain. But the mantra of deserving more love when I feel these difficult emotions takes away the negative energy and pours light over my unpleasant emotions to soften them. If I want love from others I know I must first give it to myself. Thank you for this avenue to cultivate self love and compassion in difficult times 🙏🏻
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Jane
Love more not less
When I am critical of myself or others this is a signal "more love is needed here, not less"
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Susie
More Love, Not Less
It is so easy to chide myself when I am experiencing negative thoughts or emotions and even physical pain. It never occurred to me that these are the times when I actually need to offer myself more love, not less. I am grateful for this insight. Namaste 🙏🏻.
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Dillon
Recognize My Emotions First
Before I can redirect my emotional energy, I must first acknowledge my negative self talk, and ask myself "Why do I feel this way? Where in my body can I feel that energy?" For me, the answer almost always boils down to FEAR. Fear is usually my own creation, not reality. Only then can I truly believe the words in this meditation and take them to heart.
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Alexa
More love, not less
Really needed this, thanks Christina! Calmed me down and helped me practice self compassion. Stressful day and stressful tomorrow, but will take this with me.
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Ty$
Have more ❤️
Have love... for myself! And more love when I'm feeling down ☺️
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Alicia
😍
I learned that instead of punishing myself for my feelings that I should turn love more onto myself. This is highly revolutionary for me bc I'm better at loving others when they're down than myself. Self-flagellation truly is counterproductive and is not mindfulness.
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Gail
I do deserve love
I needed to hear that I deserved more love, not less even when I was sure I no longer deserved any love at all. I will return to this meditation again and again and will work to practice it often. Thank you to Heart Awakening. Thank you so much.
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Katrina
Love yourself too
We must first and always love ourselves before we love others. To share love we must first receive love, from the bottom of our own heart. We cannot love without first sharing compassion with our own minds and bodies. Emotions are a powerful force; We only foster hurt if we are overly critical of ourselves.
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Kristin
Love myself more
When I’m sick, anxious or sad I need to learn to love myself more and not less. I’m always putting myself last and doesn’t always equal the best thing. ♥️
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David
Don’t beat myself up
I learned into today’s session with no matter what I’m feeling or what outside influences there are, I don’t need to add onto it by being hard on myself. I can take external criticism or something external could change my mood but I can still appreciate myself.
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Elissa
More, not less
Excepting that mindfulness over emotions and working that does help. The more I realize what is at the core of this emptiness- I must try to still hold onto something(not sure what yet) from within. Somehow knowing what I feel and acknowledging the fears and sadness can be overwhelming and my concern is how needy I am, I need to except that the I love you'd, the concern, the concerned faces of ,y parents MUST COUNT for my heart to heal
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Caitlin
Self-compassion
The more compassion I can provide for myself, the better prepared I will be to tackle the next issue.
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Jenni
More love, not less
I was reminded how little compassion I show myself. That I need to speak words of kindness and support and be gentle when my spirit is struggling.
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Blair
The power to love lies within myself
I have the power to love more, not less. It begins within myself. I have that power and I can tap into it at any moment.
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Sara
More love
I realised I am not dealing with my own feelings properly, I am holding everything in. As soon as I heard the first phrase, my eyes filled with tears that I didn't know were there to begin with. I need to start appreciating who I am.
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Adrianne
A solid belief
It's too easy to feel that your reaction to distressing emotions diminishes you - I think that this is a good meditation for remembering that when you are under strain is the time that support is most appreciated and valued.
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Christine
More lovr
Tough day. Not sure if this actually helped but it didn't hurt. Sometimes that's good enough.
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Jena
YOU
Even in the toughest moments in your life, you should never neglect or forget the love you have for yourself.
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Everett
Test strength
Total this engine with head on hear thins place throb better very very
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Osiris
Push on
I must accept what is wrong and be okay with what it is I’m feeling in order to move ahead.
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Joyce
More Love, not Less
Good day for this- when I’m angry or sad from my spouse, I need to love me, with all my feelings, more not less, but I also need to then love my spouse more not less because we are an extension of each other. Namaste
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Susie
More Love, Not Less
I need to focus on acceptance and loving myself more especially when my tendency is to be judgmental. Whenever I feel my heart aching, my intention will now be to listen, accept and love myself more. Thank you for this wonderful meditation. Namaste 🙏🏻
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Sam
Let in the Love!
I learned that it helps a tremendous amount to just stop for a little with whatever you’re doing and take a moment in your mind. Letting in and accepting more love makes the world a little better. Love yourself, don’t forget it.
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Dela
Day 12
I learned that I should accept whatever I’m feeling instead of putting myself down for feeling negative emotions. I know it’s going to take time to change my constant negative thoughts and doubts. But I’m going to take it one day at a time. I will be even better tomorrow.
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Lori
More love, not less
Not matter what I am feeling during the day that I deserve more love not less.
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Tiffany
Deserving
Today I learned that when I am anxious, depressed, exhausted, I deserve more love and not less. I deserve to love myself no matter what. 🌸🌸
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Victoria
Me
Every time I'm feeling less and less, I do deserve more. Regardless to whatever anyone else is saying, I deserve more.
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Ram
Stress combating
Great thought to meditate with - presented in good voice and rhythm. I have to remember to be considerate, and even loving to myself. Then I will remember to take care of myself and so have less stress. Further being loving and considerate to oneself will encourage me to be the same to others too! Thanks.
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Arana
More Love, Not Less
This was great!! I learned to just let go and love on myself no matter what’s going on around me. Repeating positive affirmations to yourself throughout the day really helps.
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Alicia
Love myself
I learned today that i need to love myself more. No matter how I'm feeling I need to accept the emotion and just love it
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Shelby
Compassion
I learned that I need to give myself the same compassion I would give another person I love. Instead of withdrawing my love when I struggle, making it conditional, I should strive to love myself more in the difficult seasons.
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Laura
More love, not less
I learned that self love is better than any type of love possible.
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Tee
Love Yourself
Even Though It Seems Like No One Cared Or Loves You, Find That Comfort Within Yourself. Know Your Worth.
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Jan
More love, not less
Enabled me to dismiss some negative thought patterns that had come to the fore recently and accept that I am worthy of more good events in my life
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Pam
More love, not less
Whatever arises inside me always deserves love and acceptance. While breathing into the heart space, repeat the following: when I feel sad, I deserve more love, not less. I didn’t feel a change in my heart space. I possibly also felt some resistance. This is a practice I should return to often.
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Melissa
Day three
After missing yesterday I knew that I needed to make time for me. And it’s okay to feel the way I feel at given moments throughout the day.
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Megan
Repetitive forgiveness
I learned that stopping and forgiving yourself is important.
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Blake
Be gentle with yourself.
I am often my greatest critic, and I give too much thought to things that are smaller than they seem. I need to love myself and embrace my mistakes and my flaws. No one is perfect all of the time. And when I feel frustrated, or anxious, or helpless, I will now give myself more love.. not less. ❤️
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Courtney
Love
I have to love myself before I can love anyone else. I deserve to treat myself with love.
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Asja
Love it all
It is so important to accept all about yourself, good and bad, so that you can rise above it or improve what you’re good at. Never undermine the power of self love.
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Ashlie
I have felt sad about not giving my fiancé enough love today.
I have realized in order to love someone you have to love yourself first.
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Jenny
Helpful for grief
This is a good one for a day when you are feeling a lot of grief for a deceased loved one.
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Mandy
I felt great reaffirming positive self love
I learned that in the hardest of times I can repeat this mantra or affirmation It helped me lessen my anxiety worries an fears and focus on what matters most self love so I can better learn to love others in this life
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Mowa
Honest
I have to be honest to myself and think about how I am feeling. Not every bad feeling is sadness. Sometimes you are insecure or something else
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Megan
NOT less
Whenever I’m feeling down or stressed out, I always separate myself from the group and feel like I deserve less love. This really helped me realize that instead of separating myself, stay by my friends and accept all of their love because I deserve more love, not less.
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Kalin
3/20/2018
I learned that whenever I am stressed, sad, or mad, I tear myself down a lot. Now I realize I need to show myself more love in those situations.
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Toni
My first meditation and I needed it
My feelings of sadness, confusion and emptiness deserve my attention and care. Maybe instead of trying to push them away, I should instead try to love me more. To give myself a warm embrace. Deep, cleansing breaths. ❤️
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Erin
More love & not less
I feel pain in my heart it sore I need love & need hugs & not less I love myself & healing my heart doing my de stress therapy & relax
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Lindsay
Deserve
I have trouble feeling worthy so this made me nervous but i do want to love myself so i will continue to try
MK
M.K.
First Aid for rough days
I learned that when I am feeling in more pain or more sick or sad that I deserve more love, not less. This is a great meditation for me. Self love and compassion are essential and this meditation helped me tonight a great deal.
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Mady
Providing my own love
I have had a very difficult month, and the past week has been a low point- I feel exhausted, heartbroken, anxious for the future, and lonely whenever I am not with people who give me love. I rely wholly on the people around me to give me the love I need. There are a few people in my life who do provide me with true, solid love, but my two main sources have recently abandoned their posts, and I feel their loss so strongly. Lately I have been feeling needy and almost disgusted with myself for my desire for the love of the people who are still around me. I need to learn how to have a healthy balance of the love of the friends/family who are here for me and how to cultivate a love for myself that is strong enough to support me.
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Jasmin
More love, not less
No matter what’s going on with my body, I am always deserving & worthy of my own love. When I am stressed or feeling anxious, I deserve more love, not less.
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Mary
More love, not less
The first time in this meditation when it was suggested that I identify the “when I’m feeling...” I got stuck on identifying a feeling. I couldn’t come up with the word. 🤷‍♀️ So, I just put in another feeling, got back on track, and then things started flowing. I’ve noticed that I have trouble naming emotions/feelings. I guess I’ll have to work on that. Here I am...still a work in progress!!
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Louis
More Love Not Less
Evil thoughts that arise from my sinful inner nature are not to be embraced. They are to be confessed to God and through the blood of Jesus cleansed from my soil. This is the only true love for self. We are not flawless beings who deserve unconditional embrace and acceptance of all our thoughts-good and evil. This meditation was misleading and can only enable the evil in us all to have free reign and sprout more evil.
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elaine
More Love
I think I can use this one. I think this one is relaxing. I have nothing else to say.
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Rosie
More love not less
I am very tough on myself. This really helped me realize that I need more kindness first and foremost from myself.
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Matthew
Zero net gain
I don't have much love for myself inside. This session didn't move me, or teach me anything new.
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Matthew
Zero net gain
I don't have much love for myself inside. This session didn't move me, or teach me anything new.
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Dimitri
Good
I need to love my self more and find me inner love thank you
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Ila
More love and acceptance
This was an amazingly powerful meditation for me today. I felt a change in my heart I felt a release of anxiety and stress that I have been carrying around and not even realizing I had. Thank you for the beautiful phrases Christina and Darren. Your Anjali touched me deeply.
WJ
Walter J
Deserving...
I am deserving of MORE Love in every situation, not Less! This is a simple but powerful affirmation to help open my Heart Chakra and allow Love to flow to & through me. Once my heart is full again, I can go back to radiating it to others who are deserving of More Love from me, not Less!! ❤️❤️❤️🧡🧡🧡💛💛🧡🧡🧡❤️❤️❤️
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Kathy
Pick Myself Up
As I listened to this it struck me that sometimes when I should be kindest to myself, I am not. So now when I am experiencing any kind of discomfort or pain, my intent will be set upon throwing the gears into reverse and becoming kinder, gentler, and more loving toward myself. It will then be easier to let my light shine!
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Justine
Shatter
Shatter the doubts, cast away the unhappiness - you deserve love, you deserve happiness. Unburden you heart, let it free to receive the loving goodness. To day is a new day, leave the past where it belongs and open up to a magical life ahead.
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Naya
Loving and accepting myself
I have to accept what I’m feeling. I need to love myself and take care of myself
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Hakyah
...
Its okay to not be okay. Gotta master the self love and appreciate myself
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Olivia
Self love
Sometimes you need to remind yourself that your emotions are not hinderances and should be accepted and dealt with instead of denied
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Ava
Safe place
I learned that whenever the world around me gets to much, I can always return to my happy place to remain calm and peaceful. I feel secure and relieved now.
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Kathy
Within❤️
I have written about this meditation previously. It has always proven most beneficial in times of need, trial or disappointment. At these times I visit my safe place. I repeat the phrases and do the self work needed. I return refreshed. However, yesterday my usual safe space, which has been outside myself, could not be located no matter how desperately I searched. I am deeply saddened. My 101 year old father who was coming to be with us for three weeks at the holidays, took a fall. His doctor won’t allow him to travel. He is badly injured. Hopefully, he can come visit in Spring. Yesterday was fraught with depressing and disappointing news. I looked for my safe space to meditate. It was not locatable no matter how intensely I tried to find it; so I breathed through my heart center over the day, which was of enormous benefit, and that is now the space where I will go first to help myself, I will not look elsewhere to find calm and peace. It is all within. I knew this to be true but had apparently forgotten. I am grateful I listened to this again today.
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Deb
I liked this
Even though my mind kept wandering and I'm tired because I didn't sleep well last night I liked this. My mind kept going back to last night which was weird. Long story. What I learned is I always deserve more love never less love. I favorited this meditation and will listen to it again when I'm more centered and grounded. Have a great day. Namaste.
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Tiffany
Self love
Day by day and moment to moment I am learning how to love myself. When I love myself my inner critic gets tucked away. When I love myself I love others better. When I love myself I can see why others may love me. One day at a time I love myself.
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Lauren
Self love and compassion
I really needed this today. I did poorly on a quiz and was really beating myself up about it like no matter how positive i tried to be about it nothing was working. But taking the time to sit down and show my self love and compassion and except that it’s okay to make mistakes sometimes really helped.
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Brandon
I felt more love for myself.
I learned that I should accept the things going on and love them for it.
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Sharmain
More love, not less... for me
I learned that we should also not settle on loving ourselves less than we love others. It’s true that you cannot give what you don’t have, so if you don’t have that much love in you, you cannot be able to give as much love to those around you. I love this meditation, love the way she talks and the fact that she’s taking her time even though it’s only a less than 5-min. episode. ❤️👌🏻
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Kristen
Thank you for this.
Your beautiful message nearly had me in tears. I think a lot of people need to hear this. More love, not less. ❤️
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Sean
Conflicting feelings
Lately I’ve been feeling very against myself while I have these conflicting feelings. For a minute my mental health was beginning to fade away as I used aura more and more but then 2-3 weeks ago I have felt it creeping back and a few nights ago I had a really bad panic attack. It was pretty late so I understand why no one was awake to help me at the time but everyone that I texted about it didn’t ask me if I was okay or see if I was unscathed from the incident. I need people that care about me and my overall well being, people that realize that stuff like that can have effects that last for weeks.
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Jessica
Day 31
A good reminder. Hard to put my finger on and be adamant about, but still a good practice
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Laura
More love, not less
A very calming and soothing meditation. I chose peace today and it felt great.
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Kelsey
Challenging
I have a tough time with self compassion and self love because my anxiety revolves around my love life. I need to work on myself internally as well.
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Hannah
Love
Love more , love yourself more , be kinder to yourself , and love others more.
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Matty
Stressed but loved
Although I am feeling restless and phisically inactive in this period because I am busy with other doings, I deserve more love, not less.
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Paris
Sad hearted
I let myself feel the sadness of the rejection I experienced today. It was not a rejection of me, but a rejection of the circumstances. I am whole, and loved.
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Laura
Love
This practice taught me that I deserve self love especially in my most difficult moments. I am grateful to those who work for this app for teaching me this lesson, and for bringing the track together. I am also grateful for the community on this app for taking the time to read this post. I hope everyone is OK, happy, and well.