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Man on the Subway

3 Min
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Cass Carlopio
Sleep Expert, Psychologist & Meditation
This is a powerful story, adapted from Steven Covey's book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective people, that explores the dramatic effect of paradigm shifts.
From the community
58 reflections
J
John
Compassion
It is so easy for us to jump to conclusions without a full understanding of the situation. It is analogous to the “Iceberg”, where we see a small part of it above the surface, but the much larger piece is down below out of view. As someone famous once said “Try to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes”. I believe we would become far more passionate beings.
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Leila
Man on the Subway
This story just shows that we should always think before we say and not jump to conclusions about what we can see the situation to be but to look deeper into how other people may see it.
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Linda
Man on the subway
I remember hearing this story many years ago listening to audio tapes by Mr. Covey on the 7 Habits. It is a powerful story that illustrates how easy it is to misjudge people and how quickly your opinion can change with more information.
B
B
It’s all relative
I need to remember that things aren’t always as they seem. Everybody has a different story and perspective.
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Stefani
Man On The Subway
This story popped up at the just the right time! I was losing my patience and had just put my 2 yr old down for a nap to escape for a little bit. The story grounded me and brought me back to the ways that focusing on the needs of others, helps us to not be so much in our own heads.
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Matthew
You simply never know...
...the pains and tragic situations which surround us every day. It always pays off, in a personal and spiritual sense, to take the time to listen, learn and properly evaluate a situation before jumping to a conclusion or jumping into action. I for one find it amazing the actions of people around me since my massive stroke. They don't understand what I've been through, or my limitations, yet they often behave in wildly inappropriate ways around me! One small impact can send me crumbling to the ground now. When I drive, someone zooming up from behind or passing on my right can cause me much anxiety. I know I have expanded my awareness of those around me, as I much better understand that a person can look just fine on the outside, but still be a complete mess inside! Compassion always will out. Always.
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Katey
Changing My Perspective
I am quick to complain or judge events, people, and most of all-myself as less than perfect, focusing on the negative... but in fact, the very things that I judge as unpleasant or unsatisfactory very well could be things that other people would be grateful to have. I need to start focusing on the positives and shift my personal perspective, because I know, when I take the time to step back as I did today with this meditation, that I have a lot to be grateful for, and have come a long way from where I once was.
O
Oliver
Our own wprld
I guess we all get caught up in our own world, important to stand back from our own thoughts and feelings.
I
Imogen
Context
There may be something that annoys you, but sometimes you’ve just got to know the whole story to get why it’s annoying in the first place
R
Rachel
more
there’s always more to a story than meets the eye. -Rachel
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JaDe
Far More Than What You Think...
This story made me reflect on my daily subway rides. I tend to get annoyed by certain aspects that come with riding NYC trains, but this story made me realize that my annoyance may be someone’s happiness or discomfort that is being displayed in a way that I may not understand. This story is a gentle reminder that I should take those moments in stride while using less judgment.
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Joyce
It’s all relative
And we usually can only imagine the perspective of the strangers around us. Namaste
WJ
Walter J
Understanding...
I read this story years ago when Mr. Covey’s book first came out. I have always been understanding and try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt but this story cemented it into me. My dad used to say “Walk a mile in another indian’s moccasins before you judge them.” My mom would quote the Bible and say “Judge not & ye shall not be judged!” So I thank my lucky stars for my parents & the wisdom they instilled in me. I like to believe I passed this idea of understanding onto my two boys also. How much nicer the world would be, if we could all accept others the way they are and just work on being our best selves! ❤️☮️🍀
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Sky
Meh
That sort of felt like a waste of a session for me. It didn’t make me feel more relaxed or less stressed at all. I didn’t find it inspiring.
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Lyndsey
This is exactly the axis tilt I felt last week when my Granda was rushed to hospital.
I cancelled clients and classes, and embarked on the long road trip to visit him Stopping in Starbucks, I looked round the bustling room wanting to scream, don’t you know??? How can you sit and chat and laugh? I felt like I saw the world through tinted glasses.... not rose tinted... just different. Being self employed and income was unimportant. The laundry in the machine, it can wait. My dad and his grief, needed us to visit, right now. Good news a week on.... Grandad is still fighting 💪🏼
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Susan
Man On The Subway
Change the way you think and you will change your life because what you think becomes your reality.
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Lisa
No Judgement
Ponder 🤔 a matter before you speak 🙏. Sometimes you can misinterpret.
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Lisa
Never Judge A Book By It’s Cover
One never knows why another behaves or responds in a certain way. Pain is dealt with on different levels. Just love & not judge.
d
dani
Interpretation
I learned that before judging and getting frustrated with someone’s behaviour or actions you do not appreciate, it is best to learn their full story for why they are acting the way they are.
G
Guinevere
MAN ON THE SUBWAY STORY
This story was a nice reminder for me. I already use this perspective shift a lot. I quickly invent a sympathetic back story for people I'm annoyed with. It works well.
MW
Michelle Wright
Eye opener
It is important to take your eyes off yourself and know that others may be in need of a kind word.
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Sarah
Judgement
It’s a reminder that you never really know what’s going on in someone’s life
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Lindy
Good point but...
Listening to an unexpectedly sad story when I can’t sleep does not help me get to sleep at all.
T
Terry
The story was too short to help me fall asleep
The story was too short to help me fall asleep I don’t want to do this. It’s annoying.
Y
Yanni
The man on the subway
I felt sad. But it did not help me fall asleep I did not like at all 😔it was bad.
C
Cecilia
The man on the subway
I think it was beautiful and amazing how the irritated man was able to let go of his anger and feel compassion towards the father and comfort him. That reminded me how we people are the rules of our own minds and that it’s up to us how we react to things around us.
K
Kara
No sleep till Brooklyn
Don’t judge others. But I will judge that this story has nothing to do with falling asleep.
R
Ree
Not for me
Not the voice I wanna fall asleep too and certainly hearing about a mans wife dying is NOT going to help!
L
Lisa
I felt bad for the man
It didn’t make me want to fall asleep Although her voice was very calming and inspiring.
A
Ashley
It’ll pass
I understood the sympathy yet embarrassment the man felt for telling the man to control his children. The story made me think that we anger is an intense emotion but can quickly be replaced.
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Carol
Change in an instance
I learned that you may never know what is going on in another persons life. What could be annoying or obnoxious to everyone else could actually be a fatal illness or a tragedy in an others life. Also I learned that as irritating as things may be or uncomfortable... there is always someone else that may be right beside you who is suffering worse and could use a lot of compassion.
C
Cindy
You wouldn't let me listen to Nature sounds.
I'll probably cancel this free trial Stop telling me what to do! I'm going back to CALM
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Kim
Short and Sad
I felt this story retelling was well done just in the wrong place - too short and sad for a bedtime story
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Laura
Shifting
It seems that human beings need to be shape shifters in the way they perceive and react to situations. I didn’t realize that reframing perspective could also be an act of compassion.
A
Ashley
Control
I don’t have to always control what the boys do when acting up ask what they need instead
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Stephanie
Man on the subway
I felt uninspired. The story felt stretched unrealistic and rude.
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Brittany
Perspective
I realized that it’s important to show empathy in all situations and be less judge mental because you never know what’s going on in people’s lives. I need to remember this and have more patience when it comes to life.
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Elle
You never know
You never know someone else’s story, their pain. So best to treat everyone with love, even when they bring you annoyance/pain.
K
Kayden
Man of my dreams and man on the subway
I feel like I was notice and I can sleep because it help me have a good dreams and dream about the man of my dreams
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Sandra
This story is one I have heard many times so had little impact .
As a mindfulness practitioner and hypnotherapist I am looking for innovative ways to help with the effect COVID 19 has affected the hippocampus and sleep patterns. I am very spiritual and intuitively feel this is an avenue is one to explore further .
Tb
Tess bucholc
Appearance
Things aren’t always as they seem. You never know what goes on in people lives behind closed doors.
M
Megs
Compassion
When we are open to others we see things differently. Opening our minds opens the world!
S
Stacey
Inspiref
You should try to remember things are not always as they seem. Be respectfull, patient, and try to be understanding
A
Alyssa
Understanding
I go into situations with an understanding I do not know someone, or what they are going through. Therefore, adjusting myself accordingly and give my reactions be adapted. This situation made me feel the nature behind my behavior. I come out with kindness because you never truly know what people are going through.
C
Carmen
Everything can change
in an instant, if you shift your perspective. But I did not fall asleep
A
Alesya
The Man On The Subway.
I learned that you can have peace wherever you go. And everyone is special, no matter what.
A
Alesya
The man on the subway.
I learned that you can have peace everywhere you go and everyone is special because its God's creation, no matter what.
E
Em
Wow...
It was sad & you don’t know what others are going through, & both in learning you can talk to people & in then, learn their story & help them you can also let go because you don’t know what’s going on in their lives.
S
Sandra
😌
Reminds me to not make assumptions. We never know what is really going on with others. We don’t know what trauma they experienced to cause them to act certain ways.
S
Sheena
First story
I learned that with additional information in any given situation you can change and shift your point of view. Less judgment and more understanding is what's needed in this world.
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Sheena
Judging
I learned that we need to judge others less and communicate more!
b
bryanna
The Man On The Train Reflection
I Noticed that the narrator of the story was sitting on the train scanning his surroundings and everything around him. He quickly realized a man and his children entered the train and was quickly annoyed by his children’s bad behavior. When he told the man to kindly control his children the man told him how his wife had died and he didn’t know how to handle the situation. Suddenly, the mans perspective on the whole situation changed and his annoyance was gone. He suddenly felt for the man and tried to help him. I learned that sometimes people behave in a manner that isn’t the best, because they are grieving and we shouldn’t always be quick to judge.
JM
Joyce Mock
Man on the Train
I learned that the man on the train’s wife passed away.His children were acting Upanishad he didn’t know what to do about it, as he was quite upset over his wife’s passing.
JM
Joyce Mock
Man on the Subway
I felt the children were acting up because they felt the stress their father was going through and he was too preoccupied to deal with them.
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Elianna
Love it!!🥳🥳
That’s it’s amazing too go too sleep and mediate. 10/10 It helps me feel relaxed and calm!!
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Lana
Empathy
I learned that not all situations are as they seem. Always be kind and patient.
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BumbleBrie
Hey there
& I am going to a Zoom meeting tomorrow at my “club”, the Krempels Center, to this meeting “She Shed”. I think that this is going to be good to play. What do you think?
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Patrica
Paradigm shift
I learned that there’s always a reason for behaviours and you don’t know what has or is going on in another’s life