3 min

Letting Go Of What You Can’t Control

3 Min
Healthy Mind
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Hannah Castillo
Mental Health Counselor
Understanding the concept of the sphere of control can help you learn to identify which things are truly within your control and learn to accept which things you have no control over.
From the community
22 reflections
E
Erin
Control
I learned a good mental exercise for determine what I can and can’t control. Mental imagery of the spheres helps with classification and direction of effort.
L
Lola
Things I can’t control
I can only take care of things I can control, not another person’s feelings
T
Tracey
Things I can’t control
Very helpful to learn most things are out of my control so why stress about them. I must learn to appreciate this and let the thoughts go especially other people’s thoughts as I have no control over them.
J
James
Letting go of things you can’t control
The Only thing Controlled by You is WHAT YOU SAY and WHAT YOU DO 🙏🏿
R
Rachel
I felt a sense of agreement and relief
I learned that which I already knew and was working on, needing to let go of a false sense of control.
R
Roger
I felt an association
It is a good practice in life to work on this rings I’d like to see more info on this technique
K
Kathy
Control
I learned that I either have complete control, influence, or no control. Once I determine the sphere I’m in, act accordingly.
K
Keith
Realization
being able to recognize and categorize controllables allows for navigating negative uncontrollable stress
K
Kate
Put in perspective!
This refocus and realization was very helpful in reminding myself what is in my control and what isn’t in my control. This strategy/understanding will definitely help in reducing my anxiety and stress.
J
Jkt
Who me m? Do i want to control
Worry and control - I hadn’t put the two together but now I can easily see where one drives the other like a two horse team. I’m giving them free rein in my outer world relationships. Saying the Serenity Prayer / doing a reality check by asking myself these questions is responsible and develops me and I can probably stop sone of the undercurrents of anxiousness.
J
Jose
The circles
Control or influence is where I can put in work Outside of that the ocean of frustration must be let go of.
J
Janna
Letting go of what I can’t control
This reminds me of the serenity prayer to except the things that I cannot change and to understand the things I can change and the wisdom to know the difference! Whenever I let go to the things that I can’t get for all makes much easier to stay mindful about the things that I can’t control and therefore I don’t have to be anxious or worry about things that I don’t have to worry about! It makes for a much simpler day!
J
Jennifer
Control
Concentrating on what I can control rather than what I can't during a sad or hurtful time in my life is something I want to learn. This makes so much sense to me. To me it flows into being respectful of others when they may hurt me or choose a path without me. I'm only in control of myself. I liked your circle analogy. I loved your lesson!
N
Nancy
I noticed that I focus way too much on the outer red ring of things incanot control.
I need to pay more attention to what I CAN control. Try to distance my thoughts from the outer ring. Practice bringing myself back to “center”.
I
Ian
I have come across this concept before but useful to be reminded of it.
I learnt not to unduly worried by things I cannot control but to focus on those I can
S
Sian
Worry.
I learned that worry is a waste of time. Being concerned with things that are simply not in our control is a waste of energy as well. Take that energy and use it to focus on something else!
H
Helene
Great advice
I do try to focus my thoughts on what I can control, but I now realize that I do fret over things that I’m nonlynhave influence over. Thanks for explaining the difference!
J
Jennifer
In my control
When I listened to this, I thought about when someone yells or becomes very upset around me. I'm calm pretty much all the time. I don't have outbursts like that. I just want to run or get away when encountering this behavior. At first, I tend to try to calm the person and inside I'm thinking, why let yourself get upset about anything like that. Or I clam up. When it continues, I then need to leave or go. If I can't, it's frustrating. I've known people that then take it out on my emotionally and physically. I lose control of my bowels! It just happens. My insides just know a huge storm is coming. I'm currently trying to cease contact with someone I've tried to love for many years. I went through the worst he's given me so far. I'm going to get killed if I see him again at all. He erupts with no warning. Sorry I went on that tangent.
j
jess 🧡
control
wow i really needed to here this. i cannot control everything i want to, no matter how hard i try. instead i need to focus on what i can actually control to better my life instead of worrying about things that i cannot do anything about
K
Kristi
Control
I learned that there are 3 levels to control and that in the long run I have very little control over the day to day things life throws at us. Being able to accept that and let go of control or worry sadly makes me feel anxious. I will have to work very hard to let go of the worry and accept the fact that when something is out of my control that I need to set it free and not waste time/energy on it
D
Diana
Always worried about the outer ring stuff!
I need to focus my energy on the things I can or may be able to control.
A
Audrey
Racing thoughts
I learned that I need to let go of my thoughts. I can’t control things that are out of my control.