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Letting Go Of What You Can’t Control

4 Min
Healthy Mind
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Hannah Castillo
Mental Health Counselor, Life Coach
Understanding the concept of the sphere of control can help you learn to identify which things are truly within your control and learn to accept which things you have no control over.
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32 reflections
I learned a good mental exercise for determine what I can and can’t control. Mental imagery of the spheres helps with classification and direction of effort.
Things I can’t control
I can only take care of things I can control, not another person’s feelings
Things I can’t control
Very helpful to learn most things are out of my control so why stress about them. I must learn to appreciate this and let the thoughts go especially other people’s thoughts as I have no control over them.
Letting go of things you can’t control
The Only thing Controlled by You is WHAT YOU SAY and WHAT YOU DO 🙏🏿
I felt a sense of agreement and relief
I learned that which I already knew and was working on, needing to let go of a false sense of control.
I felt an association
It is a good practice in life to work on this rings I’d like to see more info on this technique
I learned that I either have complete control, influence, or no control. Once I determine the sphere I’m in, act accordingly.
being able to recognize and categorize controllables allows for navigating negative uncontrollable stress
Put in perspective!
This refocus and realization was very helpful in reminding myself what is in my control and what isn’t in my control. This strategy/understanding will definitely help in reducing my anxiety and stress.
Who me m? Do i want to control
Worry and control - I hadn’t put the two together but now I can easily see where one drives the other like a two horse team. I’m giving them free rein in my outer world relationships. Saying the Serenity Prayer / doing a reality check by asking myself these questions is responsible and develops me and I can probably stop sone of the undercurrents of anxiousness.
The circles
Control or influence is where I can put in work Outside of that the ocean of frustration must be let go of.
Letting go of what I can’t control
This reminds me of the serenity prayer to except the things that I cannot change and to understand the things I can change and the wisdom to know the difference! Whenever I let go to the things that I can’t get for all makes much easier to stay mindful about the things that I can’t control and therefore I don’t have to be anxious or worry about things that I don’t have to worry about! It makes for a much simpler day!
Concentrating on what I can control rather than what I can't during a sad or hurtful time in my life is something I want to learn. This makes so much sense to me. To me it flows into being respectful of others when they may hurt me or choose a path without me. I'm only in control of myself. I liked your circle analogy. I loved your lesson!
I noticed that I focus way too much on the outer red ring of things incanot control.
I need to pay more attention to what I CAN control. Try to distance my thoughts from the outer ring. Practice bringing myself back to “center”.
I have come across this concept before but useful to be reminded of it.
I learnt not to unduly worried by things I cannot control but to focus on those I can
I learned that worry is a waste of time. Being concerned with things that are simply not in our control is a waste of energy as well. Take that energy and use it to focus on something else!
Great advice
I do try to focus my thoughts on what I can control, but I now realize that I do fret over things that I’m nonlynhave influence over. Thanks for explaining the difference!
In my control
When I listened to this, I thought about when someone yells or becomes very upset around me. I'm calm pretty much all the time. I don't have outbursts like that. I just want to run or get away when encountering this behavior. At first, I tend to try to calm the person and inside I'm thinking, why let yourself get upset about anything like that. Or I clam up. When it continues, I then need to leave or go. If I can't, it's frustrating. I've known people that then take it out on my emotionally and physically. I lose control of my bowels! It just happens. My insides just know a huge storm is coming. I'm currently trying to cease contact with someone I've tried to love for many years. I went through the worst he's given me so far. I'm going to get killed if I see him again at all. He erupts with no warning. Sorry I went on that tangent.
jess 🧡
wow i really needed to here this. i cannot control everything i want to, no matter how hard i try. instead i need to focus on what i can actually control to better my life instead of worrying about things that i cannot do anything about
I learned that there are 3 levels to control and that in the long run I have very little control over the day to day things life throws at us. Being able to accept that and let go of control or worry sadly makes me feel anxious. I will have to work very hard to let go of the worry and accept the fact that when something is out of my control that I need to set it free and not waste time/energy on it
Always worried about the outer ring stuff!
I need to focus my energy on the things I can or may be able to control.
Racing thoughts
I learned that I need to let go of my thoughts. I can’t control things that are out of my control.
My own worse enemy
I know I am the vast majority of my problems, understand the concept, but can’t apply them.
We should truly care only about things we are able to control. Lot of stuff is made and done without us and we cannot change it so there shouldnt be so many sad and stressful feelings about it. Just think about the difference.
I think the hydrophobia I already suffer might be connected to wash my dishes as well as showering, but that is just a guess. They are the two things I avoid studiously because of very traumatic experiences in my childhood. I want them each to NOT MATTER. I’m capable of doing each on a daily basis, but I find myself constantly putting them off until I actually run out of things like mugs and silverware. I remember sensory overload issues with grease in water when I was younger because my mother doesn’t have this problem so she doesn’t have to care about grease and water. I remember how slippery it felt. It was gross. But I also have a memory of smearing peanut butter all over the kitchen counter and then being placed in the bathtub while covered in peanut butter. It’s a wonder that I can eat peanut butter. But the only upside to seizures is that they can uncover memories of when I was extremely young, though they can come back really randomly, too. To gauge the age of the memory of my mother holding me, I asked her how old I was when she held me for the first time and she said a month (I was extremely premature), so I know that some of my memories have to be set before that happened. Those memories are to be cherished because at the time I was cherished. I have a tough time feeling that I am cherished now.
Learning the basics and difference beneficial and empowering. Very traumatic childhood that extended into adulthood. I allowed my abusers to be a part of my life because of the connection…my mother, my brother, my twin sister and her son.
I noticed my mind wandering to specific examples of each ring. The middle ring is the most difficult place for me. Control is something I think I want but when it comes down to it I get very anxious when I’m in control but only when some people are around. Mom Tom New Friends Sometimes I feel annals after having control, it worries me that the others involved did not enjoy what I had chosen. I will ruminate on that for days, pick each encounter apart.
Things you have control of
I learned that remembering how little we have control over and what we don’t have control over makes handling the red area with more ease and less stress.
Well Said
First of all, and I don’t know if there is a way to fix it, but the background music overbears the words being spoken. It was very frustrating. I had to put my phone real close to my ear b4 I could hear anything. However, what I did hear was very instrumental to my mental awareness. Even though I know what was said, I tend to let my thoughts and emotions control me. It was nice to hear this topic and be more cognizant. Thank you for this opportunity.
I learned there are thing I can control, like how I respond to a situation. Something’s I can influence such as such as a conversation with a friend. And something’s I can’t control (everything else), such as someone cuts me off in traffic.
Please tell me a realize that the things that I cannot control. I also do not have to take credit for her feel bad about.
 Control. I also cannot and do not have to take credit for or feel bad about it just things out of my control that have happened.
Sphere of control
Gonna try to categorize what I can control and what I can’t. It seems like a good way to “let go” and get better “focus”