Letting go of anger
Still trying to quiet my mind and letting go of anger and frustration but each moo confronted with the same crap my partner does that just makes me angry. I can tell her something 10 times and she’ll say I’m listening but she never acts on it or changes the way I explain to her, like how to feed the pets. She repeats the same mistakes constantly. I tell her fold the towels in thirds so they fit in the linen closet. Nope she does it wrong about every 5th time and I end up remolding them. If I tell her again how and why to do something she gets pissed off. So each morning I’m confronted with some issue that pusses me off. I hate being married to her. We only get along if I give in to her way of doing things which don’t work too well. I say she deals with the gardening since she likes it and inside I make the rules.
I’m so dissatisfied and disappointed in our relationship that I wish it never happened. I want to be alone as Greta Garbo said. Yup that’s how I really feel. Maybe I’m a bit of a control freak but it has reasons not just arbitrary. She never gets it. Now she has Parkinson’s and her mind isn’t working well. Stuff she could have done before her disease is now my problem to fix. I have cancer and need treatment but I’d almost rather die than face another year of this. I can’t take it much longer as I’m going to blow my top.