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Dealing with Losing an Identity or Role

6 Min
Life Coaching
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Happiness Insight
Clinical Psychologists Wellbeing Experts
There are times in our lives when we have to, willingly or not, experience a change in our identity. Transitioning from one identity to another can be so difficult and yet it's also an opportunity for growth. This session helps you to move through losing your old identity and will give you helpful strategies so that you can transition with ease into your new one.
From the community
11 reflections
Courage to move forward.
We can still be grieving & move forward at the same time.
Grieving and Becomming at the same time.
Define Identity if what was lost. What did you do in that roll that made you feel good. What did I really love about doing those things? Learn some things not to take forward. Define the future. Connect with things I value. Define future identity.
Accepting New Role
The last year my role in life has changed from managing a successful boutique that was expanding with the opportunity to work side by side with the owner to becoming a housewife and caregiver for my Dad. Some days I have been okay with this change in my life and other days I have felt restless. Lately, I am feeling restless. Like what am I doing with my life? Is this really all there is? The things I found rewarding in my job were leading a team and building a company. So why did I feel the need to give this up? Well between my husband traveling all the time and it taking a year to really get my Dad settled into his life here which took a toll on me mentally I felt I had to give my job up because my home life needed to be the priority. I know I have been stuck in grieving the loss of what could of been. Some days I can see the value in my new reality. Other days I resent my new reality. I know I need to change my perspective on my new reality to be able to move forward because if I don’t I know eventually it will destroy all the good things I do have in my life.
My identity isn't formed based on a position or role, whether it be personal, professional, relational, or spiritual. My identity is within, it is God in me. The core essence that God and I have cocreated carries over into any and all states of being, doing, and becoming. It is not fixed, but ebbs and flows. We are all in process, cycles, and seasons. We are all becoming.
Defining How I Felt
I feel slightly less panicked over being unemployed and learned I haven’t processed the loss of that role. I learned I should define how I felt (useful, important, but also taken advantage of, unheard) and determine ways to feel the good things in my next chapter.
I felt that I am doing a great job at these things already, but understanding them is a big step.
I learned that I crave being in control, feeling empowered, and making an impact. I am trying to do this every day, in my new role as a cancer thriver and patient advocate.
I learned that a lot of the emptiness I have is due to a loss in my identity as a mother. My children are adults and I am thrust into empty nest. I feel stuck because I felt so much purpose in my role as a mother. I don’t feel that purpose and hence the lack of purpose results in my feelings of anxiety and being emotionally overwhelmed. I don’t know who I am anymore and I don’t know what my purpose is.
Am still struggling some days because my identity was taken away from me which was a big part of who I am and feel lost trying to find another role that would help me feel more whole again as a person and contributor in my community and within myself
I couldn’t get through it depressing
The background piano music was so depressing and melancholy that it felt like I was being talked down to and the focus on loss of relationship as an example was off putting as I was hoping that it was about many losses of identity and not just the loss of a relationship/job but seems to exclude ones that deal with health/disability, etc.
From little sister to losing my last brother out of six , leaving me with my oldest sister out of six
I’m having difficulty with the immensity of the shock and finality of my grief for my brother. Now there’s only two of us left out of a dozen
“Both sides now”
Grief grieving staying with the experience the “perhaps learnings” from the experience of the loss of the relationship with that person place or thing or a thwarted intention - for me trying to forget the unforgettable is like pushing against the ocean. In time I do learn open give compassion to the space of that loss and also in time open to baby steps tears more sadness and grief and some awakening action endeavoring to pick up where I left off, rejoin, rekindle, restore, replace, let go some more more more - a balance point somewhere, —- some equipoise rings forth, deeper than me, tells me (if I listen) - “You are done with that, empty ready” and I greet myself freshly change the outer garment of grief signaling the inner change acceptance integration.
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