I am loved
This meditation brought back a time when I was 13 where I wanted to fish in the pond next to my house with Keith, Katie and their stepdad. The owner lady said we didn’t have her permission. So the stepdad planned to take them somewhere else to fish. I assumed I was coming but I was not. I was crushed. I felt so rejected. I wanted to have fun with them. I felt unloved. Unworthy. It was likely one of the last times I tried to make friends or initiate a fun activity with others. I assumed people did not want to have fun with me. I wonder why my mother didn’t intervene at all to help me avoid this rejection. They just stood there waiting for me to understand that I was not coming with them. I remember crying under the deck after they left and I felt the rejection. I felt so alone. So unloved. And so unworthy.