I am very engaged in long distance caregiving for my best friend, a friend of 51 years, who is in hospice, in her home, about two thousand miles from me. In a few weeks, I will go to spend a month with her, as her “family” caregiver in addition to the wonderful care she receives from the hospice people. I am anxious about this, but looking forward to being present for her in whatever way she needs me.
This means leaving my pets for all that time, in the good hands of a pet sitter, but nonetheless separated from me.
At the same time, my best friend where I live, is leaving at the end of June to look after her grandson while her daughter is in training and active duty in the Navy. The child’s father is in prison, and, thankfully, not married to the mom.
Meanwhile, I am in dire financial straits.
I feel as though I am living at least four separate lives simultaneously. It is like constant, wrenching, cognitive dissonance.
I needed this taking care of myself meditation today, because if I don’t, no one will, and if I don’t, I feel like I might explode.
Thanks for listening.