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A Better Way To Practice Gratitude

3 Min
Life Coaching
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Lou Redmond
Coach & Meditation Guide
This inspiring short talk discusses a way to practice gratitude without needing to compare ourselves to others. Gratitude is one of the best practices to bring more happiness into our life, and this insight provides a helpful perspective to take full ownership of our thanksgiving.
From the community
50 reflections
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Linda
A Better Way To Practice Gratitude
I suffer from anxiety & depression. They say it’s a chemical imbalance in my brain. I think it’s from a family that couldn’t show love & a 41 year marriage to a mentally & verbally abusive husband. I am on medication & see a therapist who is wonderful. I have made great strides & practice gratitude every day. I’m grateful my God has brought me to a beautiful place to live, given me 2 beautiful dogs to love, friends who are more family than my own, I am able to volunteer at many different places giving me joy to see I’m helping others. I am not jealous of what others have because I have God’s guidance. I am grateful for every day God gives me. Yes, I fall back into the darkness every so often but with all the help & belief I now have I am able o crawl back up faster than before. Always give thanks to God for what you have & where he’ll lead you.💕
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Michele
Guilt
I learned that my comparing was exactly as you said…guilting. Thankyou for opening my eyes to this. I treasure gratitude with an open heart for what I have and for who I am. 💝
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Julie
Wow
I’ve been listening for over 80 days and this is the 1st comment I’ve made on a session. OMG!!! THIS. IS. EVERYTHING!! Eye Opening!
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Shebah
Helpful Reminder
I started my gratitude journey 4 years ago. I wanted to feel connected to the beauty of my life, for all things good and challenging. I’ve been implementing gratitude from this perspective ever since, but to hear it be acknowledged was very powerful and just reminded me that we can be grateful without guilt.
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Patrick
Gratitude contributes to peace
I’ve learned that being grateful isn’t something comes naturally per se. Our human instinct is to want more, it seems hardwired into us, or at least most people. Me included. Sometimes “more” isn’t always better. When we experience suffering it does remind us to be grateful for what we have, or have had in the past. “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone” as the saying goes
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Ashton
Comparisons
While not specifically focused on feeling grateful for what I have that others do not, I do find myself constantly using other peoples success or failures as a yardstick for my own. I will try to actively compare my current self to my former self, and to refrain for comparing myself to others. This may be hard, but I will acknowledge this if/when it does happen.
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jess 🧡
differnt approach to gratitude
i absolutely loved this little practice. seeing gratitude as not an obligation or a chore and seeing it as something that comes from within is life changing ❤️
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Kelly
New perspective
I really enjoyed what you had to say. Too often my gratitude has come from a place of ‘well I don’t have it as bad as others’ and it never felt good. Your advice has changed how my attitude of gratitude will be. Thank you. It feels more honest to me ♥️
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Michelle
Great reframing
Thank you for this short and spot on share. It was a powerful reminder to have perspective and focus on my own lives experience, not in comparison to others. The gratitude that resonates from authentic feelings and experience is so much more powerful! Thank you 🙏
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Michelle
Great
This was a great start for this gratitude series! I appreciate the perspective shift and the reminder to go deeper into authentic experience.
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Bob
Grrrrrrrrrrareful!
I loved this first talk in the series! Thank you. In some of the children’s books I write, the main character is truly grateful at the end. I agree, that, along with love, it’s the highest emotion.
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Kieshia
I am grateful!
This message spoke volumes to me. I really enjoyed listening to it as well. I will not compare myself to others to feel grateful. I will practice gratitude around myself.
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Courtney
Love it
This is such a great perspective on gratitude. It’s also a really great reminder to focus on ourselves and our own betterment!
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Jane
Grateful
It’s so true that gratitude needs to come from personal experience. My journey through cancer has taught me to appreciate life in a much deeper way. Now I am learning to choose joy, I am very grateful that I have realised it is a choice.
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Stacy
Gratitude from within
I learned that gratitude needs to come from within rather than from external comparisons.
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Virginia
Gratitude
I learned no it to compare. Being grateful for small things….so Important
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Christina
New Perspective
I haven’t been consciously practicing gratitude for long but in the beginning I was comparing what I may have to others and didn’t find it as helpful, now I understand why. As I have furthered my practice I have been focusing most on what brings my heart joy, which is bringing about a better result. I appreciated the example of gratitude regarding the employment situation of the last couple years. I was and still am one of those people who is grateful to be in a thriving industry. But, at the same time I wasn’t able to get the rest a recharge I saw others get. I would truly be grateful for more of that time and I’m trying to find where I can incorporate bits and pieces into my busy life.
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Carol
Different and sometimes glad
I often don’t feel the same way others are feeling. It’s usually because I’m thinking about things differently. It can be hard to express sometimes, either to articulate or admit. Sometimes I even know that it’s being assumed I’m thinking a certain way and I’m not. This is the worst when it involves guilt or shame or such feelings. So if I hear or read something that speaks to ‘the other box’, to the possibility of other thoughts or reactions, you have my attention because you are making space for me. Thank you for that in this meditation.
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Brandi
Grateful
I learned that I often tell my children to be grateful for what they have because other children may not have the same things. I see that I should just tell them that they should just be grateful because we’re fortunate enough to have what we have
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REBECCA
Gratitude
Interesting new perspective and I like it. I’ve always thought I should be grateful look at what I have and some poor souls have nothing. That can sometimes (for me) lead to feeling of guilt and in the extreme self dislike because I feel selfish, which are not helpful. I’ll try to focus more on what’s in my world and what I am truly grateful for in my life without comparison. Thank you
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Emerlea
Gratitude
I’ve practiced gratitude this way for decades and it’s been a game changer. Two days ago, I ended up with 21 stitches to my face/mouth. Having this gratitude practice has kept me from emotionally crashing (not saying I don’t have any negative emotions about it) It’s helped stay grounded in MY life and personal journey.
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Valerie
Gratitude
I have always focused on what I am grateful, thankful for. for what I have and never compared it what others don’t have. I’m grateful that I can wake up in the dark of morning and hear the birds waking up, I’m grateful for this app, I’m grateful for my morning coffee and dog cuddles. Little meaningful things.
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Sandy
I feel that I’m always either reflecting or planning I think that’s why I have the feeling that nothing is ever enough
I learned that comparing myself to others is an unhealthy way to practice gratitude and it’s nothing more than guiltitude.
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Jess
Grateful
I learned that being grateful shouldn’t be based on comparing yourself to others
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Anietie
Gratitude
I learned that showing a little bit of gratitude for the things you have instead of solely focussing on what you don’t have makes you feel appreciative of life
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Marc
Different perspective
I learned that it’s not beneficial to use gratitude to compare myself to others.
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Mary
Gratitude
It’s really hard not to compare. But it feels good to pat my own self on my back for being grateful in the present. It made me happy.
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Stacey
Gratitude
I completely agree. When I began my recovery journey, I often felt guilty for having so many luxuries. However, once I realized that those luxuries aren’t the reason I’m grateful all the time; and that other people who do have less can be just as grateful for the “things” in their lives, I became grateful for a whole different reason.
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Robert
Eye Opener
I always felt that comparing myself to others would fulfill my gratitude. Never really thought about just comparing myself to myself to find that gratitude . This lesson was really what I needed.
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Liliana
Gratitude vs. Guiltitude
There is a difference between being thankful for what you have and making yourselves be thankful because others don’t have it. Eye opener.
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Kathy
Gratitude within me
I will reflect on gratitude and how to achieve without feeling I have too be grateful because someone has it tougher or less grateful because I have less. Focusing on the true essence of gratefulness… worthy endeavor
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Patty
Gratitude
I enjoyed your message and will use your suggestion to not compare myself to others but only to myself in the moment.
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Emily
Gratitude
I learned that I can feel differently - I can feel gratitude each day, each moment This can nurture me. Help me with feelings of anxiety, depression and panic. None are overwhelming so I live with them but now I feel empowered to change the way I think and live with my feelings
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Jim
Interesting
This is an interesting way to look at gratitude, I I have to say, it’s healthier than the way I’ve always thought of it. I think in comparison to others and I should only be thinking about how my life reflects what I value, what I love, not how I should be happy because others have x worse than me.
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Nadine
Gratitude
I learned the guiltitude early in life and now at 70 I am working on knowing that comparison is the thief of joy. Thank you for sharing. I really needed this reminder!
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Kiki
Gratitude vs. Guiltitude
Brilliant piece! I was raised with the notion to be grateful for what you have because there is always someone who has a far worse situation than yours. I almost felt guilty for thinking against this grain initially - lol. The more I listened though the more I loosened and focused on being grateful for what is in my life and my realm. Thank you Lou! I feel brighter right now!
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Judy
Ah gratitude is a self focused practice
I might share my gratitude with others but it is my perception and my experience and my nourishment. I may remark that is a first world problem comparing it to others who have so called third world problems. This is said as though I know what a third world experience is. For that matter do I know what other well off people experience. Is it about stuff or access or wealth of being healthy. Taking for granted is different yet. Simple gratitude in the moment unconstrained. Delight and gratitude I think have some shared footing.
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Kerry
I am one for making my children think about others less fortunate. When I had a stint of depression my partner at the time did this to me. It was then that I noticed it made me feel even worse.
Comparing, even if we mean well, to have empathy, might not be the best thing to do.
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Imran
Gratitute
Gratitute is not to be compared against others but real felt by my own heart.
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Rose
Little details
I have recently discovered my essence and have been trying to take the right path in terms of my perspective but it is not easy keeping those less productive details in mind. You made a difference for the better in my day and I appreciate that
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Marquelle
Gratitude vs Guiltatude
It felt important that I learned in feeling my own gratitude, I should only be using myself as the measuring stick and not others. As in, not thinking I’m grateful to have X because others do not (feeling I should be grateful as compared to others who have less), instead, being grateful simply because X makes me happy, feel comfortable, secure, whatever it is, that makes YOU truly grateful. I think most of my gratitude journey has been telling myself, you should be grateful for X because so many others would be, but I’m going to do a perspective shift and not guilt myself into being grateful, but instead learning what does bring me joy, happiness and a sense of being full, and then being grateful for that! And only comparing my sense of gratitude to my own needs and wants, not others.
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Michelle
Profound
I learned that the thoughts that fill up my spirit are the things I should focus on and be grateful for, and not on what I have that others do not. I’ve been going this wrong all along. This new practice feels so good! Thank you.
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Lauren
Gratitude isn’t comparison to others less fortunate
It’s looking at our own measures and what it’s means to us - otherwise we are just guilt tripping ourselves
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Vinni
Taknemlighed
Jeg lære at jeg skal være taknemlig for det jeg er taknemlig for i min verden. Altså ikke sammenligne med hvad andre har eller gør. Jeg er fx taknemmelig for min baghave og terrasse som er Så lukket og sydvendt og roen. Roen. Roen herude er jeg taknemmelig for. Jeg er taknemmelig for at have en så fredfyldt og samlende køkken. Jeg er taknemlig for at jeg kan opleve naturen lige udenfor mine vinduer. Jeg er taknemlig for at Rene er så dygtig og arbejdsom.
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Bora
Gratitude
Practicing gratitude is an antidote for people like myself who have ANT (automatic negative thinking). I want to break out if it!! I WILL break out of it.
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Debra
Thank you very much for your perspective on Gratitude.
I feel I have only ever noticed that people speak about being grateful as a comparison . That does make one feel someone down or as you pointed out guilty. I know I have. I want to feel happiness that I have something to be grateful for. Thank you for lighting the way. 💕 Debra
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Mihal
Thanks
Good reminder that our gratitude is personal a no d relative to others.
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Rob
None
I learned that I don’t have to compare myself to others in ANY WAY!!! I have no idea what their lives are like. I just want to focus on my own and make it the best it can be
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FiSaMaSi
Unknowingly holding myself back.
Through this I realize that I have spent most of my life practicing “guilt-itude,” when I could have been practicing gratitude. I hope I can change this and better live and live in the moment.
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Sharry
Great full
You are right! I do need to be great full for what I have! I may be totally alone now in the world which I look at as a negative, but I do have a house-roof over my head, a wonderful dog, all of which I will start thanking God for everyday!!