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The illusion of the one

7 Min
Healthy Mind
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Cass Carlopio
Sleep Expert, Psychologist & Meditation
There are so many relational problems that stem from this illusion of "the one". This talk discusses where this feeling of wanting to find "the one" comes from and offers a more balanced way to think about finding a future partner.
From the community
6 reflections
L
Laura
No such thing as the one
This meditation taught me that despite its prevalence in popular culture, The idea of “the one“ is no longer relevant in modern society. The notion of The one based on the myth the third one perfect person out there for everyone in the world. This thinking it’s route in the Appalachian. In most cases throughout early human history individuals were busy surviving . As a result call me most humans could only mete once . Given the harsh conditions of Early humanity, that’s survival of the species was not guaranteed. It was therefore necessary for humans to find strong healthy individuals , To which they could pass on their genes. This would ensure that humans would continue to exist . Today, The human population has obviously grown , eliminating the need to find a perfect match for survival purposes. I am not in a relationship right now. However, thanks to what I have learned in this meditation call math I will not feel pressure to find a perfect matchWhen that time comes. This will also be helpful to me, because in general, I am a perfectionist . I I am struggling to overcome this tendency as I get older. Realizing that their no such thing as perfection in relationships with significant others, Will hopefully help me to learn to except imperfection in other areas of my life. Lastly, I believe this knowledge will prevent me from holding my future partner to unrealistic standards oh being the one The lack of pressure created by this idea on my partner as well as onmyself open parenthesesdiscussed above) it’s likely to increase our ability to grow, learn from, and enjoy, the experience of being in a relationship. For all of these reasons , I am grateful for the people Who work for this app, for putting this track together . I am also grateful for the community on this app for taking the time to read this post . I hope everyone it’s OK, happy, and well.
L
Leesa
The One
I learned that I need to somehow articulate to Rob what I need and see if he can provide that to me. I need to feel loved and feel like he thinks I’m sexy and appealing.
C
Cole
The one
By doing what you love and enjoy will attract people with similar interest helping you find the closet thing to the one
D
Donna
Believing in The One
Believing in ‘The One’ can be very devastating when that relationship ends and you believe you can never love again because you’ve already had ‘The One’.
L
Linda
The Illusion of “The One”
I feel it’s impossible for there to be “the one”. No one can live up to someone else’s perfect mate. No one is perfect. A relationship needs constant work & communication, especially communication! We are not mind readers. Without constant honest communication the other partner can not know what will make you happy or unhappy. I know, I lived it for 41 years.
J
Jkt
Fantasy desire the shiny armor
Could I love and live with many partners - ones? I’ve been married twice had ms y boy friends and male friends and even romantic relationships are not the true focus- Friendship camaraderie enjoying a conversation without making it sexual close in someway. How can I be a more inclusive person and all my relationships?
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