I have played in this arena for days end. In moments of reflection I can see this clearly. Why is that? The easier route? My whole life has been in reaction. It’s been in the “if this then, Or when this then “ I wonder why that is and how I got here. I want to flip the coin. I want to find a better understanding so I can be the cause and see things as “what is this trying to teach me or what opportunity is there in this that is happening to me at this moment.”