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How To Tell If A Relationship Is Toxic?

14 Min
Healthy Mind
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Dawn-Elise Snipes
Clinical Psychotherapist
This track will teach you how to determine if YOUR Relationship is Toxic. +Relationships should enhance each person not tear them down +Relationships can be toxic for one or both people +Toxicity can be caused by: - A person’s behaviors in response to the other person (address it with the other person - don’t assume) - A person’s behaviors in response to what they assume the other person is thinking or going to do (based on current core beliefs and schema formed from past experiences)
From the community
5 reflections
J
Jennifer
Toxic Relationships
I learned I am in a toxic relationship. I am probably in several actually.
J
Jess
Still undecided if that relationship was toxic. He made me want to be a better person but he is also quick to end things.
We need to bring out the best in each other and not assume we will react how our ex’s reacted.
D
Deb
Looks like my current relatiknsi0 checks most of the boxes but over been in denial for years…especially the friends thing.
I need to detach somehow I see my relationship in all of these examples but I’ve had my head in the sand…I have no friends and even some family has isolated from me because of it. He told me it was because I’m the problem. I actually believed him fir a while now I’m trying to work up the strength to detach emotionally after he had an emotional affair and blamed me.
E
Erica
Toxic or not Toxic, that’s still in ?
It’s hard to really know and let go of the feelings and happiness that was there from the beginning, and the gratitude I feel towards him for being the sun and pulling me out of my darkest days, and then giving me my greatest joy that I was told I could never have, somehow we managed to have a beautiful baby girl. But something changed, I look back and I see all the manipulation and gaslighting and bad behaviors, but it never really bothered me before maybe I was just so numb or blinded by lust/love, cuz it’s always been there, it didn’t just start up one day, but one day I stopped being ok with it, and now every single “little” thing, lies, gaslighting, manipulation, coercion… sets me off. Then he flips it on me like I’m overreacting, and I constantly war with myself wondering if he’s knowingly doing this, if he has some mental disorder. I love him, and am so grateful he came into my life, I feel a lot of sorrow for him, but I am trying to make my mental state at peace with my past and better it so I can guid my daughter into an emotionally and mentally strong woman so she doesn’t suffer the path I’ve gone through, and one weekend with him feels like I’ve taken steps back from the little bit I’ve managed to achieve in the 2 months since I’ve left. It’s exhausting and confusing
Dn
Dónal
It's toxic
I've realised that I am in a toxic relationship, caused by both of us. I am the bigger influence of the toxicity but we both have a part to play. The problem is that it's not like that all the time. Most of the time it's great. But I have been neglecting my own responsibilities in the relationship and taking her for granted. This has just caused so much pain for the 2 of us. I have caused so much pain to her. I'm selfish and see now that I have broken her down. That's not what I wanted to do at all. I want to build her up. I want to help her be the best person she can be, but I'm currently doing the opposite. I've realised that I am broken and have my issues, but those issues have caused so much hurt. They have broken me, but they have also now broken her. I need to fix myself so that I can be better for her. I don't want to lose her.
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