The person who has hurt me the most is myself
I have lost trust in myself. I have anxiety because I don’t trust myself. I have failed myself over and over. I cannot let go of those betrayals of myself, and I don’t forgive or trust myself to not to do it again. I don’t have compassion with myself or a the ability to remain open or calm in order to learn from my mistakes and learn how to fix them or learn how to repair those patterns. During this meditation, I was able to calm, sending peace, goodness and relaxation into my body. When I visualized myself, the person i most needed to forgive, sitting in the garden, I earnestly looked at her in the eyes, told her she hurt me, that I had held anger and resentment toward her, and that I finally was ready to forgive her. I told her I was forgiving her, not for her sake, but because it will lead me to openness in all areas of my life. She looked up and smiled at me, with understanding, promising never to bother me again. As she walked out of the garden she did not look back. At this point, I really felt it is time that my younger self and I both heal and both move on and go our separate ways, not interacting in each other’s lives anymore. We have made peace. She promised to never enter my secret garden again, and as long as I don’t invite her back, I’m sure she won’t come back on her own.