This journals for both of us and I’m going to try to capture some moments of closure. Grief is probably never easy, it’s certainly Confusing from the perspective of my dead self, current self and new will to live all mixed into one human. Stepping into who we can be means leaving behind everything I thought I loved about myself and instead taking only the capacity to learn again that when we let go we find what we were holding on to. There’s a lot of growing up that I never wanted to do. Change is really not easy for me and I tend to resist new ways of being or knowing myself jusf because I like to be right about what k think I know about me. Letting people in might help me figure it out. I’m thankful for all the ways our souls can find us.