Spouse vs. Best Friend: Should They Be One?

Aura Health Team
Written by
Aura Health Team
Aura Health is a community of hundreds of top coaches, therapists, and storytellers worldwide. We are here to provide the world’s most extensive, personalized collection of mental wellness content & services.
Aura Health Team
Written by
Aura Health Team
Aura Health is a community of hundreds of top coaches, therapists, and storytellers worldwide. We are here to provide the world’s most extensive, personalized collection of mental wellness content & services.
Spouse vs. Best Friend: Should They Be One?Spouse vs. Best Friend: Should They Be One?

When it comes to the question of whether your spouse should also be your best friend, it's a topic that sparks lively debates and personal opinions. Some believe that marrying your best friend lays a solid foundation for a lasting and fulfilling relationship, while others argue that having separate roles for your spouse and best friend can be beneficial. In this article, we will explore the concept of spouse and best friend dynamics, examine the pros and cons, and discuss expert opinions on this fascinating topic.

Understanding the Concept of Spouse and Best Friend

Before delving into the discussion, let's take a moment to define the roles of a spouse and a best friend. A spouse is your life partner, someone with whom you share a deep emotional and physical connection. They are there to support you, love you, and navigate life's challenges together. On the other hand, a best friend is someone with whom you have a close bond, someone who knows you inside out and accepts you unconditionally.

Defining the Role of a Spouse

A spouse plays a unique and multifaceted role in your life. They are your rock, providing emotional support, companionship, and intimacy. Your spouse is the person you build a life with, making important decisions together and nurturing a deep sense of trust and commitment. Being a spouse entails a level of responsibility that goes beyond what a best friend offers. It requires dedication, compromise, and a willingness to prioritize the relationship even during challenging times.

The Unique Bond of Best Friends

In contrast, a best friend is someone who shares your joys and sorrows, your dreams and fears. They are the go-to person when you need advice, a shoulder to lean on, or someone to simply laugh with. Best friends often have a shared history and a level of understanding that allows them to connect on a deeper level. They provide a sense of belonging and create an atmosphere of unwavering support.

The Intersection of Friendship and Marriage

Now that we have a clearer understanding of the roles, let's explore the importance of friendship in marriage. Studies have shown that couples who consider each other their best friend tend to have more satisfying and enduring relationships. This may be because friendship brings added dimensions to the dynamics of marriage. Having a strong friendship as the foundation of your marriage can enhance communication, trust, and overall satisfaction.

The Importance of Friendship in Marriage

Friendship fosters a sense of emotional intimacy, allowing spouses to feel comfortable sharing their thoughts, desires, and vulnerabilities. It creates a safe space where both partners can be themselves without fear of judgment. When spouses are also best friends, they can rely on each other for emotional support, creating a strong support system within the marriage. Furthermore, friendship brings a sense of fun and playfulness to a relationship, helping couples weather the storms that life may bring.

The Challenges of Being Spouse and Best Friend

However, it is essential to acknowledge that being both a spouse and a best friend can bring its own set of challenges. Balancing different roles in a relationship requires effort and awareness. It can become easy for one role to overpower the other, leading to a loss of individuality or neglecting the importance of maintaining outside friendships. Managing the challenges of being spouse and best friend requires open communication and a willingness to adapt and grow as individuals and as a couple.

The Pros and Cons of Your Spouse Being Your Best Friend

As with any relationship dynamic, there are both advantages and potential drawbacks to consider when your spouse also occupies the role of your best friend. Let's take a closer look at each side of the coin.

The Benefits of Marrying Your Best Friend

Marrying your best friend can bring immense joy and fulfillment. You already have a strong foundation of friendship, which can lead to a deeper understanding and acceptance of each other. There is a natural compatibility that comes from knowing each other so intimately, making it easier to navigate conflicts and challenges. Additionally, marrying your best friend can create an unbreakable bond, as you have a strong support system within your marriage.

Potential Drawbacks of Spouse-Best Friend Dynamics

Despite the benefits, it is worth considering the potential drawbacks of having your spouse as your best friend. When your spouse occupies both roles, it can be challenging to maintain a sense of autonomy and individuality. It is essential to cultivate separate interests and maintain friendships outside of the marriage. Being overly reliant on each other for emotional support can also put undue pressure on the relationship. Recognizing and addressing these potential pitfalls is crucial for a healthy and balanced spouse-best friend dynamic.

Balancing Relationships: Keeping Separate Bonds

So how can you strike a healthy balance between your roles as a spouse and a best friend? One approach is to recognize the importance of maintaining separate bonds outside of your marriage. Having a best friend outside of your relationship provides a fresh perspective and allows for personal growth. It also ensures that you do not place unrealistic expectations on your spouse to fulfill all your emotional needs.

The Value of Having a Best Friend Outside of Your Marriage

An external best friend can offer insights and support that provide a broader perspective. They can be a sounding board for your thoughts and a source of reassurance during challenging times. Having separate friendships also allows you to celebrate and share different aspects of your life with different people, enriching your overall social connections.

Maintaining Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

Along with nurturing external friendships, it is crucial to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in your spouse-best friend relationship. Communication is key in establishing these boundaries and ensuring that both partners feel heard and respected. Setting aside dedicated quality time for each role can also help maintain a sense of balance and prevent one role from overshadowing the other. Striking the right balance between your roles as a spouse and best friend will contribute to a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.

Expert Opinions on Spouse and Best Friend Dynamics

Psychologists and relationship coaches have offered valuable insights into the interplay between spouse and best friend dynamics. According to psychologists, having a strong friendship as the foundation of a marriage can contribute to marital satisfaction and overall relationship quality. Relationship coaches emphasize the importance of recognizing and honoring the separate roles of a spouse and best friend, as well as cultivating individual interests and friendships.

Psychologists' Views on Marital and Friendship Bonds

Psychologists highlight that the emotional connection and support provided by a best friend can enhance marital intimacy and resilience. However, they also warn against expecting a spouse to fulfill all the roles of a best friend, as it can lead to an overreliance on the relationship. Recognizing the importance of external friendships and individual growth is crucial for maintaining a healthy spouse-best friend balance.

Relationship Coaches' Insights on Spouse-Best Friend Relationships

Relationship coaches emphasize the significance of establishing clear boundaries and maintaining separate identities within a spouse-best friend dynamic. They believe that cultivating individual interests and friendships outside of the marriage contributes to a well-rounded and fulfilling life. These insights underscore the importance of finding harmony between the roles of a spouse and a best friend.

Reflecting on all these perspectives, it becomes apparent that whether your spouse should also be your best friend depends on various factors, including personal preferences, relationship dynamics, and individual needs. Each relationship is unique and evolves over time, requiring open communication and a willingness to adapt to each other's changing needs.

In conclusion, the question of whether your spouse should also be your best friend is a deeply personal one. It requires open and honest conversations between partners, as well as a willingness to adapt and grow. Ultimately, the key to a successful relationship lies in finding a balance between the roles of a spouse and a best friend, while also nurturing external friendships and individual pursuits. With thoughtful consideration and communication, you can create a fulfilling and thriving bond that encompasses the best of both worlds.

Aura Health App supports you in maintaining a harmonious and balanced relationship. Check out Aura's wide range of resources to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being, both as a spouse and a best friend.

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November 3, 2023
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