My own worst critic
I absolutely need to learn to treat myself better! No one is harder on me than me. My wife has shown me a lot of tough love, but that hasn't really been enough to snap me out of my bouts of self-loathing and depression over the state of my life.
I'm actually feeling really miserable today, this holiday Monday. Things have once again taken turns for what I consider the worse. That's the real issue, I think! I seem to stupidly believe that there might be something better out there awaiting my discovery, and that my failure to discover it or find it on my own is a major failing on my part.
I think maybe it's my skewed view of the world which causes my grief, my sadness, my misery. Maybe I should just stop dreaming, or believing that there could be something better out there, waiting for me just beyond the horizon?
But I don't WANT to live that way! I choose to fight, and to do for myself and my loved ones!
I know if I can just get myself back on track with my career, I'll finally feel better about myself. But it's SO MUCH easier to just wallow in bed and ignore the to-do list altogether.