Like the little wave...
I KNOW I’m part of things bigger than myself, and am proud and happy to be so! But with life still so upside-down for me, I’m constantly filled with anxiety and trepidation. HOW will I care for myself? My wife? My children? Without the means to do so, I find myself unmotivated to do all of the extra things I used to fill my days with, beyond working! My volunteer work time has been reduced to a minimum. My sideline bakery business is gone, seemingly for good. My social circle is mostly gone as well. I’m sad, worried and quite lonely all of the time now!
I’ve received little-to-no help from the public quarter through these last few years since suffering my massive stroke. My state has constantly refused, with one lame excuse after another, to pay out the unemployment insurance benefits myself and my family have paid into constantly throughout the years! I’ve now been in a couple of years’ holding pattern of waiting for the federal Social Security Department to take any action on my permanent disability claim...the lawyer I have hired to assist me with this onerous task assured me that this is simply a VERY slow process, working with SS, but I’m desperate and anxious constantly...I’ve met folks who have waited upwards of 10 years for resolution to their disability claims! I cannot wait that long! I don’t even WANT to be considered “disabled”! I WANT, NEED to work! It’s one of the things which defines me! The need to return to the job I was eventually laid off from was one of the motivating factors which got me out of the hospital!
I’ve been terribly depressed, so much so that I have sought out mental health services, and therapy, to help me better cope and deal with things! About a year ago, I was having suicidal thoughts (VERY unlike me!), and through my iPhone’s health app; discovered mindfulness, and downloaded, installed, and began my journey with Aura!