Heavy Heart
Life goes on whether we like it or not. Sometimes though, something traumatic occurs in our lives, something that hurts us so much that it stops us right in our tracks. It is as if time has stopped, our progress has been interrupted by this sudden situation. As much as I don’t care to admit, I believe this has happened to me. I’ve been very hard on myself.
Yes, I’ve been going through the motions of life, smiling on the outside, but deep inside, my heart has been so heavy and broken. In fact, there have been times where my heart center has felt so heavy that it has been hard to breath. Then there has been times where I’ve been frustrated with myself because I thought that with learning the invaluable lessons that meditation has taught me that I’d be better in dealing with traumatic times. I thought I’d be able to breathe through it somehow. I thought in knowing of the Law of Impermanence, which states that all relationships will end via death or separation, would somehow ease me through the next loss I would experience. Then it happened. Out of nowhere, I experienced my next loss. Granted, having knowledge of this Law has helped some, but not to the extent I thought it would.
I turned to this beautiful meditation in hopes that it would help with the heaviness I feel in my heart center. While listening, I focused on my heart and became grateful for all it does to keep me alive. Giving my heart an inner smile, the pain seemed to subside a little. With each beat of my heart, this loving kindness began to spread throughout my whole body. Even though I still feel some heaviness and discomfort in my heart center, I am grateful for listening to this beautiful meditation! I will definitely be returning to it in the future.