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How Our Core Beliefs Impact Our Love Life

6 Min
Healthy Mind
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Dr. Alexis Moreno
Psychologist, Dating & Relationship Expert
We're going cognitively deep here. Moving through our surface-level thoughts to our core beliefs.
From the community
17 reflections
Core beliefs
Some feelings of worthlessness, when I have an opinion it feels that people often dismiss or reject them
What’s my core belief about likeability
I learned that my social anxiety is rooted in my core beliefs of being unliked or judged for being awkward and weird.
Core beliefs
I wasn’t really loved as a child so I compensate by loving harder and more quickly as an adult. I hold on tightly. More then I probably should. My love is more like a train traveling at high speed, when it hits you it’s like a train hitting you. So the person feels overwhelmed by it. For me love is Almost like a need not a choice. I love hard and I am loyal to the core.
Learning... NEVER ends!
how much i needed to learn about core beliefs and/or automatic thoughts!
Core beliefs
I’m seeing that even after decades of self work the original core belief of not being good enough is still activated on occasion. Time to be kind to myself.
Core beliefs add to resentment of other people. Learning to shift or drop core beliefs will help me enter relationships and situations with an open mind.
Simple & Straightforward
Really appreciate the take on creating healthy relationships.
Enlightening, but
This raised a good awareness of why my mind goes to certain directions and why my thoughts that derail me while I’m in the moment How can I change those core beliefs
Thought provoking
Gained some much needed introspection and objectivity. This helped me reflect on the different and sometimes challenging cultural perspectives that my husband and I have based in our core belief systems.
Paying attention
Pay attention to my negative thoughts and how they may be tied to my core beliefs. Example: I’m so busy, have so much to do because I’m not doing enough (negative thought), and I’m not doing enough because *I’m* not enough (core belief). We have the power to rewrite and reprogram our core beliefs.
Core beliefs
Core beliefs developed early in life together with errors of thinking are main driving force in relationships struggle
Core beliefs
I am struggling with core belief that I am not good enough and that nobody loves me. I have been through EMDR and identified some childhood situations as to the not good enough. I now realize that not lovable comes from trying to win parental approval and often not receiving it.
Core belief
Just notice how Our core belief appears automatically. Non judgmental (Judging means we label our core belief good or bad) and compassionate. Challenging the core belief are they 100% true? Most of the time, our core belief is rigid and generalised.
Here Is The Trouble..
Trouble really does come from core beliefs... and i know i need to work on these.. guess i needed to hear this
Core beliefs
Core beliefs can significantly impact automatic thoughts in a given situation. For example, if I hold the core belief that I am not a good speaker, and I speak to a colleague at work, I may have an automatic thought that they did not understand what I said, and I might give up on my opinion or discussion. On the contrary, if I modify that core belief and believe that I am a great speaker, the automatic thought is more likely to be positive, and my response thereafter will also likely be positive.
I must have some issues because for the last 8 years I have been single and have no desire to get into a relationship and have to go through anymore heartaches. I’m 48 and totally fine being alone.
Core Beliefs
I resonated with the example given and see myself as unlikable and unlovable, especially when it comes to my personal relationships with the people in my life. For instance, when my partner does some thing, I assume it’s because of me. That I’m not worthy, that he’s going to leave me, or that I’m just not good enough. This feeling of not being enough, worthy, loved stems from previous relationships and family.  With regards to my family, there was always a sense that what I did wasn’t enough. But I needed to do more, be more. Regarding personal relationships, this stems from being cheated on, being told hateful things, and being left for stupid things. That ultimately made me think negatively of myself.