I learned a lot from this meditation. I need to drop and let go what does not serve or benefit me. Things that do not propel my soul and enlightenment need to be disregarded and recognized and not belonging to me. The spirit of me that I’ve come to discovering is slowly winning a battle with my childhood ego. It is hard and it gets convoluted and invisible, it becomes unknown and unseen. The battle is relentless and sometimes the child within wins, yet the ancient within me persist and is determined. I think the child in me is dying and I am crossing over to another plane of enlightenment. This journey the past two months has been profoundly dee and deviating. I was in so much pain and I got physically sick. I want to pursue my dream of creating art, of writing and painting, guiding people and listening to my heart guiding me. I belong to no one but me. My future belongs to no one but me. I need to make the choices today of how I want my future to be in the daily life and that means letting go of childhood “dreams” of a science degree earning me big money. Sure I have an interest and a curiosity, but my talent and skills lies within psychology, all fields. I am a scholar by heart indeed and I know now the ways of pursing a path that is true to me. Not a dream that was thrown at me from parents who are severely lost and not of higher consciousness being. It’s taken me years of being miserable, depressed, anxious, and insecure of realizing maybe this “dream” of mine was created by society and forced down by parents. I am fully capable of following my talents, skills, and true passion to make me feel alive and experience life. And that is okay. Namaste self, and others who read this.