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Relationship Reflection

14 Min
Life Coaching
1.5k+ Plays
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Dr. Alexis Moreno
Psychologist, Dating & Relationship Expert
All relationships can be assessed on a spectrum from healthy to unhealthy to abusive. Learning more about what a healthy relationship vs. an unhealthy or abusive relationship looks and feels like helps us make more informed and intentional decisions in our love life. Keep this lesson in mind while learning more about your new date or long-term partner.
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4 reflections
T
Tamara
Staying together is my solution
I actually realized that we mostly have a healthy relationship, in which unhealthy communication patterns occur a bit too often. Problems are addressed in an aggressive manner by one of the partners, and in some cases the words said can be demeaning to the other person, in which case this situation and specific communication becomes abusive. Yet this happens not to hurt the other, but due to - what I believe - are anger issues that are very hard to live with combined with frustrations. I felt like this behaviour was abusive, and it is, but this does not mean the whole relationship is. We need to learn how to respect each other on days where things go wrong - and I like to believe this is a change we CAN make.
A
Ally
Really great session
Having been in an extremely abusive relationship at a very young age with the parent to my kids, I have carried a lot of PTSD and emotional trauma with me. Hearing this series, and the listing of the qualities in each type of relationship was incredibly important for me The trigger of memories from way back when was uncomfortable, but I have long since forgiven myself for being so very young and in knowledgeable about the world and just wanting to protect my children. That colored my opinion of myself for so long. This was amazing. I was taking notes as I was listening, so I can always have a visual reminder of important things to remember about relationships, and even to share with my children and others. Thank you.
M
Mark
Abusive Relationships
While listening to this, I learned many of the red flags for abusive relationships. Having spent three and a half decades in an abusive relationship, I now recognize exactly how many of those red flags were present even before we were married. There is one issue I wish to address. Clearly, the message was addressed to women as victims of abuse, but nearly 40% of men are also victims of domestic abuse. Many of those same abusive behaviors perpetrated by men apply to women as abusers, too. Examples may include control of finances, family decisions and mental abuse, and yes, even reproductive abuse. Excellent track!
J
Joe
Radical Acceptance ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ
In all relationships I must highly prioritize equality. I have to make sure I donโ€™t over look even little areas where boundaries are not being held. I have to remember to always value not only my partner/friend/familys boundaries but be sure mine are intact as well. Communicate!!! Itโ€™s hard when others donโ€™t or canโ€™t. Try not to let that prevent you from communicating. Let your guard down when itโ€™s safe enough too. Donโ€™t be afraid. Fuck your ego. Fuck your idols. Be your own idol. Learn to love yourself again. And more importantly do it consistently. Then youโ€™ll find someone right to share it with. Itโ€™s way too much love to waste neglecting yourself. Let alone the surplus left you could give. If I die next week. Make it count. You may never get all you want. Just make sure you get what you need. Itโ€™s time to let go. No more poor me. Itโ€™s time to be as strong as ever. Tomorrow is never going to come. What the fuck are you waiting for. Share love tomorrow. With your family. Patience not impulse. Love not resentment. Thankful not wishful. This will not last forever. All of it. Good and bad. Return to your breath. Cliches rule you stubborn fucker. โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ