Dr. Janell Carroll

Relationship, Sexuality & Gender Coach

Starting at a very young age, we all learn about love, slowly gathering information about how we want to give and receive it. In some ways, it’s like learning a primary speaking language. This process develops gradually and takes time. Interestingly, we often show love to others in ways that we would personally most like to receive it. Learning more about how we express love can strengthen our relationships. It can also help us connect with others in deeper and more significant ways.

Learning about love is like learning a primary language; understanding how we express love can strengthen relationships and connect us with others in deeper ways.

What's Your Love Language?

The English language only has one word for love, which can make it tricky to know exactly what it means. Even so, research suggests there are multiple colors of love. Think for a moment about the type of partner you are in a relationship with - are you a selfless lover, fully giving yourself to your partner, asking for little in return? Or are you more of a jealous lover who is constantly worried that your partner might cheat on you or hurt you in some way? What makes a relationship work is understanding and acknowledgment of what type of lover you are. Communicating your needs with a partner can make your relationship stronger and more resilient in the face of misunderstandings.

Research suggests there are multiple colors of love, and knowing the type of lover you are can make your relationship stronger through communication.

The Colors Of Love

When we fall in love we often believe the relationship will last forever. We have hopes, dreams, and expectations for how we want things to go. But no relationship is perfect. Disagreements are a common part of all relationships and it's common for intimate relationships to have rough patches. When this happens, you might wonder if it’s a bump in the road or if the connection isn't a good fit. Differentiating between normal ups and downs and when a relationship has run its course isn’t easy.

All relationships have ups and downs; it's difficult to determine if it's just a bump in the road or the end of the relationship.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Sexual shame is a negative emotional response, a feeling of wrongness in our sexual desire, interests, fantasies, and/or behaviors. It can lead to feelings of anxiety and guilt, which can affect our confidence, intimacy, and our ability to have healthy relationships with others. People with sexual shame have blocks in their flow of sexual energy, causing discomfort around sexual pleasure, blocking their ability to communicate with their partners, and making it difficult to let go and enjoy sex. In this segment, I will discuss sexual shame and ways to decrease it so that you can fully enjoy sex.

Sexual shame causes negative emotions, blocks sexual energy, and affects confidence and intimacy; learn ways to decrease it and enjoy sex fully.

Sex And Shame

When you are sexually intimate with a partner, you are as close to another human being as you can possibly get. You are also at your most vulnerable. During these vulnerable times, it’s common for your inner critics, or saboteurs, to begin their incessant chatter. Saboteurs are critical inner voices that develop when we are young. Although they are always with us, they tend to fire up when we feel vulnerable or stressed. When we become preoccupied with these thoughts, our brains take control creating emotional distance and tension in our relationships with our partners. How can we turn down the noise?

Sexual intimacy can bring out inner critics, causing emotional distance and tension in relationships; learn to turn down the noise of critical inner voices.

Sexual Saboteurs

Every minute we breathe in and out without giving it much thought. In fact, we naturally inhale and exhale every 2-3 seconds. Although breathing is an unconscious action, it can also be brought under conscious control. By learning to do so, we can affect our bodies in a positive way. Studies have found that slow breathing is a natural tranquilizer for the nervous system. It activates your parasympathetic nervous system, resulting in a calming and relaxing effect. In this session, you will learn about the 4-7-8 breathing technique and how it can help you reduce stress and fall asleep fast.

Learn the 4-7-8 breathing technique to reduce stress and fall asleep fast; slow breathing is a natural tranquilizer for the nervous system.

4-7-8 Breathing

Self-worth is defined as your internal sense of being good enough and worthy of love and belonging from others. It is at the core of who you are as a person. Self-worth grows out of self-understanding, self-love, and self-acceptance and it directly affects how you relate to others and the world around you. It helps you feel comfortable in your own skin and prioritize yourself and your needs. Your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are intimately tied to how you view your worthiness and value as a human being.

Self-worth is your internal sense of worthiness and affects how you relate to others and the world around you, growing from self-understanding, love, and acceptance.

Increase Your Self-Worth

Authenticity is a way of being that reflects our true self. It happens when we are living a life that is congruent with our actions, values, and beliefs. But it can be challenging because we want to be liked by others and sometimes we worry that people might not like us if we let our real self show. Realizing and accepting the fact that authenticity is difficult might be the first step in helping us move past whatever might be stopping us from being real.

Being authentic is challenging as we worry about being liked, but it reflects our true self and accepting this difficulty can help us be genuine.

Speak Your Truth

Most people are familiar with the acronym LGBTQ+ which is used to describe a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity. The + sign is used to signify all of the gender identities and sexual orientations that letters and words cannot yet fully describe. The LGBTQ+ community reclaimed the term queer as a form of pride and as an act of empowerment. Today, queer is an umbrella term that is used in many ways and often means different things to different people. But experts agree that queer is a powerful word that celebrates accepting yourself and others for exactly who they are. Learn more at www.drjanellcarroll.com.

The acronym LGBTQ+ signifies sexual orientation and gender identity, with the + representing identities and orientations not yet fully described, while queer is a powerful word used by the community to celebrate acceptance and empowerment.

Being Queer

Every time you contemplate an idea or entertain a thought, you emit a form of electromagnetic energy. This energy changes your personal vibration, influencing everything around you. Your energy has the power to change and move all other forms of energy. You CAN shape the energy around you. The Law of Attraction states that you can create or attract whatever you want, no matter what. "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're probably right." For more information about Dr. Carroll, go to www.drjanellcarroll.com

Your thoughts emit electromagnetic energy that can change the energy around you, allowing you to shape your environment and attract what you want.

Your Glass Is Full

Have you ever had a thought play on repeat in your head over and over? Rumination involves a repetitive negative thought process that continuously loops in your mind. Sometimes it can be impossible to get the thought to stop. When you are in your head worrying about the past, you are not living in the present moment. By being more present, you can reduce ruminating thoughts and enjoy life more fully. Dr. Carroll discusses what rumination is and strategies you can use to break the rumination habit. For more information, visit www.drjanellcarroll.com

Rumination involves repetitive negative thoughts that continuously loop in your mind; strategies to break the habit discussed by Dr. Carroll.

Stop Ruminating Thoughts!

When you ruminate, you engage in a repetitive negative thought process that continuously loops in your mind over and over. It could be one single thought or a string of thoughts, that keep playing on repeat. In this talk, Dr. Carroll explores different types of rumination and various strategies for reducing rumination. For more information about Dr. Carroll, please visit www.drjanellcarroll.com

Dr. Carroll discusses strategies for reducing repetitive negative thoughts or rumination in this talk.

Stop Ruminating!

If you’ve been wondering what makes a good human, you’re not alone. Many of us are curious about this. One definition of “good human” says that they follow the rules, don’t commit crimes, break the law, lie, or cheat. But it's actually much more than this. In this talk, Dr. Carroll explores what makes a good human and encourages you to consider how you can do better. For more information about Dr. Carroll, please visit www.drjanellcarroll.com

Dr. Carroll explores what makes a good human beyond just following rules, encouraging listeners to consider how they can do better.

Be A Good Human

If you’re like most people, when you make a mistake, or fall short of your goals, you beat yourself up, become defensive, and/or blame others. Or maybe you just ignore it. While these actions might alleviate the sting of failure in the short term, they interfere with your personal learning and undermine your development in the long term. What if instead of beating yourself up, you cut yourself a break, using kindness and understanding? In this talk, Dr. Carroll explores why it's often difficult to give ourselves a break and several ways to help you build your self-compassion. For more information about Dr. Carroll visit www.drjanellcarroll.com.

Don't beat yourself up: learn self-compassion. Dr. Carroll explores why it's hard to cut ourselves a break and offers ways to build self-compassion.

Give Yourself A Break

Love may be one of the most studied topics, but also the least understood. Studies have found that loving relationships have many positive benefits, including a stronger immune system, faster recovery from illness, reduced anxiety, lower blood pressure, reduced risk for cardiovascular disease, less pain, and even an increased life expectancy! Happy couples tend to live longer. In this talk, Dr. Carroll explores the benefits of love, as well as what happens when love is taken away or there is a forced separation. For more information about Dr. Carroll please visit www.drjanellcarroll.com

Love has positive benefits for health, including stronger immune system, faster recovery, reduced anxiety, lower blood pressure, and increased life expectancy.

The Power Of Love

Fear is a core part of the human experience, and it often plays a dominant role in our lives. It is our brain’s alarm signal, warning us that something isn’t right or that we might be in danger. In this talk, Dr. Carroll explores a variety of fears, including phobias, the fear of missing out, the fear of intimacy, and the fear of failure. For more information about Dr. Carroll, visit www.drjanellcarroll.com

Dr. Carroll discusses the role of fear in the human experience, exploring various fears such as phobias, fear of intimacy, and fear of failure.

What Are You Afraid Of?

Boundaries may be one of the most essential, yet overlooked social skills. They enable you to create clear guidelines for how you want to be treated and define what behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable to you in all your relationships. They can improve your physical and emotional health by reducing stress, anxiety, and burnout. Without boundaries, it’s possible to lose yourself, allowing the people in your life to disrespect, manipulate, or ignore you. Boundaries help you to be fully YOU and to stay resilient, strong, and happy with who you are. For more information about Dr. Carroll, go to www.drjanellcarroll.com

Creating boundaries is crucial for mental and physical health as they define guidelines and acceptable behavior in relationships, preventing disrespect or manipulation.

Tracks by Dr. Janell Carroll